2024-01-31 - Breakthrough
| Title: Breakthrough | |
|---|---|
| Summary: Kyouka is having a difficult time dealing with her encounter with Akari, but luckily Setsuna is able to lend some support. | |
| Who: | |
| Where: Gymnasium and Fields (Shitamachi Low City - Juuban Public School) | |
| OOC - IC Date: 1/31/2024 - Friday, April 17, 2016 | |
.***************** Shitamachi Low City - Juuban Public School *****************.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* Gymnasium and Fields +*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Accessed through a covered, open-air walkway linked to the school, the
Juuban gymnasium is a warehouse-like structure with an impressively high
ceiling (a fact impressed on many a child during their first rope-climb).
Its golden-brown laminated hardwood floor is decades old by now, with arcane
scrawls of shoe-rubber burnt into it beyond the influence of any mop, but
it's held up well, though a few boards near the walls creak a complaint if
stepped on. A spacious equipment room contains the volleyball nets, balls of
various sizes, and other miscellanea the gym teachers use to keep Juuban in
shape.
When weather permits, the students are often taken to the athletic fields
instead. A ruddy brown, rubber-coated track rings the main field with
concentric spray-painted rings, and is used for track and field activities,
as well as forming the center ring of a three ring circus of athletics
during the sports festival. The other two rings are the soccer field and the
baseball field, the former of which is often put to use for other sports as
well. While not as expansive as a country school might enjoy, the fields are
a considerable privilege in high-rent Tokyo, one much-appreciated by
Juuban's numerous afterschool sports clubs.
<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
Kyouka has been... in a notably quiet and sullen mood today at school. Normally friendly and engaging with those around her, today she's been distracted: not really engaging with conversation with others or seemingly even paying attention in class. (It took the teacher calling her name three times to get her attention at one point, and even then someone had to lean over and poke her on top of that.)
When asked about it she just said she was 'fine' and 'thinking about some stuff', but... it's obvious everything isn't fine.
She didn't even show up to Track and Field practice today. She never misses practice, not without telling someone first. Instead she just... got up from the last period of class and left.
After practice, though, Setsuna could overhear two girls talking in the locker room.
"... Do you know what's gotten into Okazaki-chan?"
"No, what happened."
"I saw her in one of the equipment storage rooms and she was wailing away at a punching bag."
"Did you ask her what was wrong?"
"Make the last line 'Heck no! I'm not getting in between her and that punching bag."
<Pose Tracker> Setsuna Higashi [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
Setsuna Higashi is usually someone who doesn't engage very much in active conversation for very long, but she is observant. She notices when Kyouka is distracted. She notices when she has to be poked about even a techer trying to get her attention. And she noticed her absence from track andfield today.
Pausing at the doorway when the girls talk about Kyouka, she listens for a moment. "..."
In short order, Setsuna has arrived at the storage room, in uniform. She looks around to see if this is the one Kyouka is in, her large red eyes focused and thoughtful.
<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
It is easy enough to realize which room it is as Setsuna gets closer: there is a steady and rhythmic sound of impacts landing true on a punching bag as she gets closer, and when she steps in...
Kyouka is indeed there. She changed into her gym uniform at some point, and her attention seems entirely focused on the bag before her. Her hair is matted with sweat, and if there's a long enough pause to get a look at her hands, her knuckles seem a bit red, too.
She's been at this for a while.
She's varying things up with a few elbows, knees, and kicks, but it's mostly punches to keep the bag from swinging too far away and interrupting her flow.
<Pose Tracker> Setsuna Higashi [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
Setsuna watches in silence for long enough to see Kyouka's condition, including the condition of her hands. She is quiet as she considers what to do, until eventually--
"...You're... upset, aren't you?"
She is always a little hesitant at guessing emotions, but it's hard not to make that guess. "..."
She steps inside. "Let me hold the bag for you, if you're not too tired to keep going."
<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
Kyouka whirls around when she hears Setsuna's voice, arms immediately coming up in a defensive posture. But it only takes her a moment to realize who she's looking at, and she drops her hands a second later, standing more upright.
She's upset.
Kyouka shakes her head, "No, I'm..." However fine she seemed when she was in her groove, now that she's stopped it suddenly catches up to her and she starts breathing hard as she tries to recenter herself. Finally she admits, "Y-yeah, maybe. Just... working something out."
She wipes hair out of her eyes with the back of her hand as Setsuna offers to hold the bag. "... Sure, but... you're gonna miss Track and Field if you hang out here too long."
<Pose Tracker> Setsuna Higashi [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
Setsuna sees it! Tension. Upsetness. Even being wrapped up in herself about it...
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Setsuna offers without judgment or expectation; it's a simple question, delivered simply, and as she offers it, Setsuna moves to take hold of the bag.
"That's okay," she says. "It's fine to miss sometimes."
<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
There are times when Kyouka doesn't hide her feelings very well. Today is definitely one of those times.
The offer to talk causes Kyouka to glance aside as something flashes across her face. It might be guilt, or shame, or something else.
"I..." she sighs. "Yeah, I guess I better. Not like I can talk to anybody else about this."
She waits for Setsuna to take hold of the bag and then starts in on it again. She's holding back, but only a little. This is a girl who prides herself on working out every morning.
She settles back in her groove of pummeling the bag for a moment before she starts to talk. "So, that damn fox showed up yesterday. Finally."
<Pose Tracker> Setsuna Higashi [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
Guilt, shame? It's all mysterious to Setsuna; she knows that something is Wrong, and that is about it. Since she stopped trying to manipulate Pretty Cure all those years ago now, she's less confident in guessing at people's emotions.
She's more wwilling to listen sincerely, though.
So, the purple-haired girl takes hold, and, "You don't have to. But if you want to, I'll listen."
A pause. The fox...
Setsuna nods. "I see." 'Go on', is unstated.
<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
Kyouka is usually a little better at signalling what she's feeling for Setsuna's benefit, or at least being clear, but... well, today she's obviously got something on her mind.
It takes a few more moments after that unstated 'Go on' for Kyouka to continue. There's something tearing at her as she tries to figure out how to phrase it, but finally she can't help but blurt it out. "She tried to get me to take back Strike Wolf." This is punctuated with a full throttle punch delivered with her rear hand, completely with follow through in her back foot.
Her right wrist is noticeably bare.
<Pose Tracker> Setsuna Higashi [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
Setsuna is patient. She can wait as long as it takes; as Kyouka hits the punching bag, Setsuna keeps herself braced so as to keep both it and herself stable, despite the hard hits. And so, when Kyouka mentions Strike Wolf...
"But you didn't," Setsuna confirms. Because Strike Wolf, of course, is not here.
<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
Kyouka's punching starts to grow faster and harder as she keeps going. "No," she confirms. "She was... she was running a con, or something. I... I tried to speak to her master, to make it real, and she wouldn't, and Strike Wolf wouldn't say anything, and I could tell something was wrong..."
the words and the punches both flow like water once she really gets started. "And I can't... I don't know if I did the right thing, or if I should've just... went along, so I could keep helping you guys, and I keep going around and around in my head and... augh!"
she finishes off her current stream of attacks with a backkick then stops, panting again. She can't bring herself to look at Setsuna in the eye. "I'm just... I don't know what I want."
<Pose Tracker> Setsuna Higashi [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
A con? That does admittedly sound like the fox Kyouka has talked about. But, "I see..."
Setsuna pushes back against the bag with the punches, until that back kick.
"It's hard to know what the 'right thing' is," Setsuna says after a moment, tilting her head to watch Kyouka even though she won't look her in the eye. That's fine.
"...That's a hard situation. It sounds like you listened to your instincts, though."
<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
Kyouka pushes her hair back out of her eyes again, though she's turned slightly away from Setsuna as she comments on listening to her instincts. "I... I don't know if I did."
She returns to the bag, and unleashes with a fresh flurry of strikes. "She was... offering to let me work with Strike Wolf again, in exchange for favors. Nothing big. Magical Girl stuff. The stuff I wanted to do anyway, right?"
An elbow strike and a knee mixed in with the punches. "But I'm just... .angry. She was selling me a line and I avoided it. End of story, right? Nevermind the fact that I let you guys down, nevermind the fact that I'm still worried about Strike Wolf, or that I got--"
She pauses, chest heaving as she stares at the bag, hand frozen in mid-punch. Her eyes are wide and troubled, and her breathing has subtly shifted from the effort of exertion to the effort of control, now subtly shaky.
Instead she lets out a frustrated grunt and turns, starting to pace the room.
<Pose Tracker> Setsuna Higashi [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
"Hmm..."
So she isn't sure. "I see." Favors. Stuff she wanted to do. And yet...
Setsuna watches Kyouka, and lets go the bag, standing up straight to look towards her. "...I don't like being used," Setsuna settles on eventually. "And I don't think you do either."
"I don't think of it as you letting us down, anyway. You should focus on what you feel, for yourself; we supported you in your decision, and we still do."
"That's... what I think."
<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
Setsuna doesn't like being used. And she suspects Kyouka doesn't either. "No, I don't, but... she made it sound... so reasonable. They couldn't find Strike Wolf's intended partner. They wanted him with someone who could keep him safe, they'd just need some help. I... I didn't even question it at first. I almost took it. I almost..."
Kyouka grunts and returns to pacing. "I can't focus on how I feel," she lets slip. "Every time I do I just got so angry at myself." They supported her decision. "I know, but... we saw what happened with Jail. They're not going to stop coming after me. I can make a barrier now but that just makes me a target."
<Pose Tracker> Setsuna Higashi [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
"So are you upset that you didn't take her deal?" Setsuna wonders. "...Or are you mad that you almost did?"
They supported her decision, and...
Setsuna hesitates, before, "I set down my powers, once. I haven't told you about that. Would you like me to? It might... show you why I feel the way I do, about you doing the same."
<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
Which was she mad about? "I... I was..." Kyouka clutches her a hand over her chest, over her heart. Maybe she's trying to reassure herself.
Or hold something in.
There's something almost there, but she can't quite let out yet.
She lets her hand drop as she looks to Setsuna in surprise. "Wait... really? What... what happened?" She seems to be momentarily distracted from her own situation, at last, her full attention on Setsuna.
<Pose Tracker> Setsuna Higashi [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
Almost...
"It was when I stopped being Eas," Setsuna explains. "...I didn't see how I could go on, as I was. But I couldn't use those same powers against Labyrinth. So I ran away from it. I made a choice, knowing that it made me potentially a risk--maybe a liability, to people I cared about. ...Not that I understood much about caring, back then."
"But I still did it, because I had... reasons. Strong reasons."
"Reasons more important than anything else."
<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
Kyouka didn't realize, not really realize, that she would become a liability herself, but Setsuna seemed to... and yet... she chose to set down her Labyrinth powers anyway. For some really strong resons.
More important than anything else...
"... what were they?" Kyouka asks softly. "It's... okay if you don't want to say."
<Pose Tracker> Setsuna Higashi [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
"..."
Setsuna looks down. "Because..."
She meets Kyouka's eyes, if Kyouka will let her. "The 'happiness' of Earth... was something I could no longer stand to destroy. Because Love was my friend. Because I couldn't put Lera through this fighting anymore. Because..."
"Because I wanted to pursue what my own 'feelings' meant. To live."
"...I don't think you could 'live', being used by someone like that. I couldn't."
<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
For Setsuna, her own feelings were something she couldn't ignore anymore. The friends she'd made, some of whom were now her sister and girlfriend...
Kyouka does let Setsuna meet her eyes to explain, but after the topic comes back to being used, she looks away. "That's true, but... that's not why I coldn't go through with it..."
She turns and slumps against a wall, sliding down until she's sitting against it.
"I... I got scared," she finally admits. "Scared of fighting again." She's looking down at her lap, now, knees still bent.
<Pose Tracker> Setsuna Higashi [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
And now, she's 'living' for herself. But Kyouka isn't. Kyouka has another reason that she denied taking Strike Wolf back up, and--
And Setsuna pauses, and then nods, once. No udgement is apparent in her face; no harsh statement.
"Fighting can be very scary," Setsuna says. "I didn't really want to do it anymore either..."
She steps closer to Kyouka, puts herself at her level by bending her knees.
"It's not bad to be scared."
<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
Kyouka is, genuinely, happy for her friend living her best life. She said as much, when she learned of Setsuna's past.
Even if she's not in the right frame of mind to communicate that sentiment in the moment.
It can be scary... Kyouka stays looking down at her lap. "I know, but... I... I always thought I didn't get scared, but..."
But something happened.
She looks up to Setsuna, as she lowers herself. "I know, it's healthy, but I can't..." She glances aside. "I can't stop thinking about it. I'm mad and angry with myself and..."
<Pose Tracker> Setsuna Higashi [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
"...Everyone does," Setsuna thinks. "I don't know anyone who doesn't. Not who's a person."
"But?"
Then, there's, "...Okay. So, don't try not to think about it."
"If you can't stop from thinking about it, what happens if you just... let yourself think about it, instead?"
<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
"I mean, okay, I'd get scared of stuff, but... I could always manage it before. 'Hey that jump looks scary better be careful', 'hey I heard something better check for wolves', stuff you fix and it goes away and this..."
What happens if she tries to think about it instead?
The one thing she's been trying not to do, but of course, once the suggestion's been made... "I..." She looks to Setsuna, and then quickly looks away.
She's silent, for a long time, as something weighs on her. Finally... "It... it's not a contest, right?" she mumbles. Advice she had heard so long ago, it feels like.
She draws her knees to her chest. "There was a fight..." She glances sidelong to Setsuna, unable to face her fully. "... Have... you seen a Pure Heart before?"
<Pose Tracker> Setsuna Higashi [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
It's different? But... Kyouka looks away, and Setsuna looks at Kyouka without guile. She waits through that silence, her red eyes blinking slowly now and then as she lets Kyouka set the pace.
"It isn't," she agrees.
And then... a fight? "..."
"I don't like to think about those very much," she admits, "Because it reminds me of the time I lost mine... It was always strange to think that I would even have such a thing."
She looks back to Kyouka. "Why?"
<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
Setsuna lost hers once-- There is a very sharp intake of breath as she says that, and Kyouka looks to Setsuna. Her eyes are blue and wide and just a little haunted. "Then you know," she says, her voice almost a whisper. "What that's like."
Kyouka hugs herself tighter. "There was an ogre. A Sulfuric Ogre. She could pluck them right out of people. She was going after Diamant, I tried to get in the way, block her, but..." Her hand goes to her chest again, protecting her heart. "Sh-she got mine. I couldn't do anything to stop it, she just took it a-and..."
Deep breathes. Trying to calm herself. "I-I thought... I thought I'd put it behind me. I wasn't alone, my friends got it back, we saved everyone... And as long as I still had Strike Wolf there wasn't anything I could do about it. I had to keep fighting."
"... but then I had the chance to give it up. I think... I think I might have decided too fast. That... that stupid fox might've sold me a line, like she tried to do yesterday. Told me exactly what I needed to hear to make the decision she wanted..."
<Pose Tracker> Setsuna Higashi [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
"I do."
The Ogre... Setsuna nods, thoughtfully. She doesn't elaborate on her own experience. Instead, she keeps watching Kyouka. A monster too powerful to fight...
"I see..."
"Well," she says, "Now you do have time to think about it."
"What will you do?"
<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
"... I don't know," she admits. "I... as long as I didn't have a choice, I could live with it, I guess. Or at least pretend that I could live with it, but..."
Kyouka closes her eyes. "She offered me Strike Wolf. I reached out, thinking of all the good I could do again. How I could help my friends."
"How I'd have to fight." She shudders, that sickening feeling running through her body as she clutches protectively at her chest. "And suddenly, all I could think about... was that I could almost die again, and it's stupid, because Jail's goons attacked me and I could've died there, but I didn't, and..."
Another deep shudder. "I should've been strong enough to make that choice, to keep going. Now I don't know what to feel about myself."
<Pose Tracker> Setsuna Higashi [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
"...I see."
Setsuna nods. "So as long as you didn't have to think about your feelings, you could ignore them. But now you can't. ...It was like that for me, too. Until I couldn't ignore them anymore."
"Fighting, or not fighting... it's your choice. There's not a 'right' answer like you're saying there is."
"But it sounds like you already know the answer for you."
<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
As long as she didn't have to think about her feelings she could ignore them. Kyouka actually blushes a little. "Well when you put it that way..."
Doesn't sound like the healthiest thing, does it?
No right answer... but does she know the answer for herself? "... I don't know. I thought I did, but... I'm not sure anymore. I hate... I hate letting my friends down, but there's just..." She shivers. "I can still feel it."
<Pose Tracker> Setsuna Higashi [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
"Is it a strange way to put it?" Setsuna wonders.
But, "I think... If you're regretting the choice you made so much, maybe that means you wanted the other. But also, I think it was a good idea to try to get her to be more honest with you."
"But only you can decide."
<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
"No, it just..." How to explain. "... ignoring your feelings is geeeenerally considered an unhealthy thing to do."
"Maybe? I don't know. It's just... a big complicated mess in my head right now. I hate... being like this, not knowing what to do, what's right. I like being able to know what the right thing is and then to just do it..."
Kyouka sighs. "That woman is definitely screwing with me though. I just don't know why."
<Pose Tracker> Setsuna Higashi [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
"Oh." Pause. "Yes."
But it's a mess, and Kyouka doesn't like it; Setsuna can't really blame that. "I was always sure what the right thing was, back then," Setsuna says. "Back when I was Eas. ...Since then, it's been harder to be sure sometimes."
"...I think you're right. Do you think you can talk to her again?"
<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
"Well... you talking with me right now is helping, so... good call there, at least," she offers. "It's... good to know I'm not alone in that experience." She sighs. "I still don't feel like I have answers, but... it does help."
Kyouka shrugs. "I dunno. I kind of though the only thing she wanted from me was Strike Wolf, but with this stunt... I don't know. Maybe they needed a guinea pig or something. I've tried contacting her telapathically before, but... that didn't get me anywhere."
<Pose Tracker> Setsuna Higashi [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
"I'm glad." Setsuna smiles briefly and warmly. "I don't have a lot of answers that you wouldn't," she says. "But it always seems easier to me when I can talk about it with someone else."
Then... Hmm. "Well," Setsuna says, "She wants something from you, whatever it is. So that gives you a place to start."
"...I don't want to suggest anything underhanded, but... You could start there, in renegotiations?"
<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
Kyouka has a brief smile for Setsuna in turn, though hers is a lot more uncertain. "Thanks... I appreciate it."
"She wants something, I just don't know what. And... I don't know what I want right now either. I... I have a lot of thinking to do, I think... Then I have to figure out if I can even trust her. I think... I think the deal we made is probably off, at this point." Under her breath, she mutters, "Maybe I should go bug her representative and see if she has any ideas where her client is."
She starts to rub her knuckles a bit gingerly, sensation having finally caught up to them. "Ouch... how long was I at this...?"
<Pose Tracker> Setsuna Higashi [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
Setsuna nods. "I know."
So... "So you have to think more." A pause. "If you know a representative that might be a good idea, too. But if you don't, telepathy might work."
A pause, and Setsuna rises, walking over to the first aid kit. She picks it up and turns back around. "Yes," Setsuna says. "I can use this, or we can go see the nurse. But you have to choose one."
She smiles again.
<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
"I'll text her later. If not that then... I dunno. Telepathy didn't work last time and I'm not... exactly sure what my range is now, without Strike Wolf? Some of the other Mages could probably help, though." She considers that a moment. "It's either that or I wait to run into her while she's being chased by something again."
She considers that for a moment and then sighs, slowly pshing herself up to her feet. "Alright, I'll let you do it. I'd... rather not have to come up with a lie to tell the Nurse about what I was doing."
