2022-10-11 - When I Grow Up, Will I Be Alone?
| Title: When I Grow Up, Will I Be Alone? | |
|---|---|
| Summary: Mikoto and Yumi share their anxieties over growing up, growing apart, and failing to succeed. It just so happens that between the two of them, they have a very, very easy solution. | |
| Who: | |
| Where: Mitakihara General Hospital | |
| OOC - IC Date: 2022-10-11 - 2016-01-18 | |
<Pose Tracker> Yumi Ohzora [Infinity Institute (11)] has posed. <SoundTracker> Revolutionary Girl Utena - Pessimism https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3NKzl31sNo
Yumi Ohzora missed her classes today. She'd have missed them yesterday, if she'd had them. Luckily, Sunday is Sunday. ..But this is getting somewhat ahead of the matter. The other day, Mikoto contacted Yumi about the missing people out helping in Sanbu; Yumi was feeling particularly badly, and despie her wishes, she couldn't go along.
Things got worse from there, and when Yumi collapsed in the dorm hallway, she was whisked off to a hospital, where she's been since Saturday night. Ordinarily she might count on, say, Hanae to bring her some things...
But not this time.
Fast forward through Sunday, and we reach the next day, Monday, which saw Yumi reach out to Mikoto.
>Hey. Did things go OK out there?
The reason for the belated check-in will come up soon thereafter, and now...
Yumi's brought out in a wheelchair to the garden, to meet a friend. And what a garden it is! Low hedges of pink flowers radiate in a circle, an iron fence around the edges boxing in the low hedges that sproutfrom the tiles. Yumi's chair is a nice bright green, a cheerful thing that does not cheer Yumi up very much. She managed to talk the nurse into letting her friend take her out...
Though it might've been curious that Mikoto was specifically on the list to be allowed. Yumi didn't know her mother paid such close attention to who her friends were, though it's not strange; she's with Mikoto all the time.
And now, Yumi looks out over the sky, the beautiful sunset radiating down...
"This sucks," Yumi sighs.
<Pose Tracker> Mikoto Minagi [Ohtori Academy (11)] has posed.
> Hands OK!!! Chie and Aoi abd Takumi too!!!!
> Hanae I mean
> We put them vCk and they're getting better eidjt now I think!!!!!
Chie and Aoi, at least, seemed fine at school, so it's a reasonable assumption that they haven't been affected grievously; when Mikoto checked in on Infinity, Hanae didn't seem to be suffering, either. Takumi...
Well, there are some problems the Wraith didn't cause. It's complicated, but since his roommate Akira is looking out for him, Mikoto isn't going to worry about crowding him too much. Mikoto thinks Akira Okuzaki is a very capable boy!
As for other problems the Wraiths didn't cause, though --
Mikoto is just fine at handling the weight and heft of a wheelchair; she's gotten better at it, too, over the months. Perhaps that's why it was easy enough to convince the nurse to let her steal her to freedom. ... not that Mikoto could really get Yumi down from here in her current state. Mikoto has certainly climbed up the side of hospital before, but the windows are all so uniform, and the edges are precarious, and it's not the sort of thing she'd want to do with a passenger who might not be able to hold on.
(Mikoto, you see, still can't fly, despite an increasing number of her friends abandoning her to the ground, ENDO.)
Mikoto wheels her over to one of those benches along the flowers, and sits down beside her. "Yeah," she agrees, kicking a foot out and looking up at the painted sky.
She lets it sit there -- with that concise acknowledgement of Yumi's feelings, rich in meaning but not in verbiage -- for minutes at a stretch. Mikoto is not someone given to words. She exists beside Yumi, looking at the same sky, and feels that says enough.
But Mikoto is aware of how other girls communicate, at this juncture, even if the world is foreign to her -- so eventually she looks back down, to Yumi and her particlar shade of hair which catches the light so effortlessly. "Yumi, still no good?" She queries -- queries whether Yumi still feels as badly as she did, when she came in here, with her typical brevity.
<Pose Tracker> Yumi Ohzora [Infinity Institute (11)] has posed.
>Thanks.
Yumi hasn't seen for herself yet; since Hanae was 'sick' recently from being exposed to the elements out there in the storm, she wasn't allowed in to see Yumi, so she's had to content herself with texting to check in on her at the moment. It's driven Hanae more than a little crazy. But as for Yumi herself...
Yumi mysteriously doesn't get out to the hospital much when she isn't stuck here. For some reason. But even if she got out her broom, she'd probably look pretty ridiculous trying at the moment... (Yumi can! On better days anyway.)
But Yumi's pink gaze stays out over the sky for the moment, her gray hair down instead of braided or drawn back. Mikoto agrees with her, and Yumi's used to her being quiet. It's actually kind of nice, a different kind of quiet than being alone. So Yumi lets it sit there for a little while too. Eventually, though...
"...A little better," Yumi answers, with a shake of her head. "But just a little. Apparently I hurt myself falling. I'm sore all over. And I've been sleeping a lot. ...I don't even like this stupid chair, but I don't feel like I could walk anyway."
"It's so..." She bites her lip, and shakes her head again, though she regrets that a little, reaching up to adjust her glasses. "I'd been doing really well. I just hope I'm not stuck here for that long." A pause. "...They're talking like maybe giving me the single room was a bad idea."
<Pose Tracker> Mikoto Minagi [Ohtori Academy (11)] has posed.
Mikoto blinks, head canting to one side. Falling? Falling shouldn't hurt someone that much, she thinks. Then she realises the obvious problem -- the obvious problem from Mikoto's perspective, anyway -- "Yumi never learned how to fall?" She brightens, with a smile. "That's easy! I can show you! Then Yumi won't need someone watching!"
... she's intuited some things, anyway.
Her hands grasp her knees, as her legs swing, back and forth, under the seat. (She's short, so it's not too difficult.) "'Course Yumi's sleeping," she points out, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Hospital sucks, but you're not allowed to fight your way out," in just the way Mikoto never did, and Yumi never had to intervene to stop, "so I dunno what else you're supposed to do here. And Tama sleeps all the time! It's good influence!" Where Mikoto got the idea of a good influence (and the converse) is a matter we will leave aside at the nonce.
She looks up at the sky, with a thoughtful noise, up from her throat through to her teeth. Her lips purse with the noise; her brow crinkles, and so does her nose. "Hey, Yumi," she starts, eventually. "Did something happen?" If she was doing good before this... why did she suddenly get worse, anyway?
<Pose Tracker> Yumi Ohzora [Infinity Institute (11)] has posed.
"Ah, yeah..." Yumi smiles at Mikoto trying to help. It is an obvious solution. "Sure. That might help. ...But sometimes I just black out and then fall, so I can't really do it..." But she doesn't want to shut Mikoto down. And sometimes she can control the fall a little. So it might help!
Yumi can't so much swing around, but she enjoys the chance to slouch a little. The nurse might tell her to keep better posture so she can breathe better, but Mikoto will let her slack off!! Right? "...That's true," she admits, and actually does smile a little more cheerfully at the talk of Tama. "That's true, she does, so it's not so bad if I do, right? ...She's around, you know. She came to visit. She's just hiding because the hospital doesn't allow cats."
When Mikoto asks the quesion, Yumi looks sad--and then kind of upset. "Nothing," she says. "Nothing at all. I don't know why. I mean, winter's hard on me anyway, I get sick sometimes, but..."
"Mm. And they won't let Hanae come see me so I hardly have any of my stuff. Like the puzzle Mother gave me, I was hoping I could work on it while I was here..."
"I mean, I've been having some weird dreams, but I think that's part of the magic. So I can't think of anything that would've done it..."
"Just my stupid body again."
<Pose Tracker> Mikoto Minagi [Ohtori Academy (11)] has posed.
Mikoto makes a baffled little noise at the back of her throat when Yumi talks about blacking out and falling, because -- well, falling in Mikoto's universe is a matter of missing a foothold. Something external, not something internal. "Oh," she says, "okay!" It's not Mikoto's experience, but she accepts it without interrogation, anyway.
And of course, since this isn't Mikoto's native experience, she doesn't even think about Yumi's posture. She herself slouches forward, face all scrunching up with a dissatisfied grunt, when Yumi mentions that they don't allow cats in hospital. Mikoto doesn't have to say a single word to communicate her disapproval of that.
She straightens up, though -- head all pulling up, and then the rest of her -- when Yumi grows upset. Instantly Mikoto is oriented on her, and her hands tug forward to her lap, where they fold over each other. "Weird dreams," she echoes her, frowning.
Mikoto is quiet, for a time.
"... want me to go get it?" She asks, finally. And clarifies, a breath later: "Yumi's puzzle."
<Pose Tracker> Yumi Ohzora [Infinity Institute (11)] has posed.
It's dfferent! But Yumi notices that Mikoto just accepts it, as always, and that's nice. Some people would make a big deal out of it, or else argue, or... any number of other things. But Mikoto doesn't do that. It's... nice.
Mikoto sure doesn't have to. But Tama is a magic cat so it's surely fine.
Mikoto's offer comes as--it isn't a surprise, Yumi finds. She thinks she's going to be surprised, but then when it comes time to notice whether she's surprised, she's not. But she is grateful. "Not right now," she clarifies, "But I'd appreciate that. They won't let Hana-chan come see me..." She looks bummed about that, obviously. "I haven't gotten to talk to her as much since I got the single, with... all the magical stuff going on. Since I can't tell her about this stuff."
She looks down. "...Well, anyway. How are things out there?"
<Pose Tracker> Mikoto Minagi [Ohtori Academy (11)] has posed.
Mikoto frowns. "So how come I can?" She insists, regardless. Visit, presumably, given she's here and Hanae isn't. "That's not fair. I can --" Mikoto pauses, and leaaans to one side, to peer out at the side of the roof, and how far down it is. "... uh, I better not sneak Hanae in," she corrects herself, the realisation hitting her tone and expression like a brick, lending them a leaden sense of completely obvious weight. "I don't think she'd take it too good."
Unless she blindfolded her! Could she blindfold her? Mikoto entertains the notion and then discards it, assuming that everyone's inner ears are as sensitive as hers, and would certainly notice the motion of climbing even if they couldn't see.
Mikoto shrugs, legs swinging again. "It's okay! Chie and Aoi are back at school, and Takumi's okay, too... I checked on Hanae, and she's doing good. Sleeping lots. I think that's normal. I did, anyway." And there's something in that inclusion -- how Mikoto knows what's normal after being attacked by Wraiths -- which paints a wider picture than the one she presents on the face of it.
But now she's thinking of sleeping, Mikoto's head tilts, braids all tumbling down her cheek. (Braids, and a set of colourful glass beads; she's still fond of clipping Nori's gift in her hair. It's not quite Ohtori uniform standard, but the Ohtori uniform has always been eminently customisable.) "Umm... maybe Yumi should room with Hanae again?" Mikoto asks, finally. "I sleep better when Mai's there, too. At least," her nose wrinkles, as her face pinches in thought, "I think I do."
<Pose Tracker> Yumi Ohzora [Infinity Institute (11)] has posed.
"They think Hana-chan was sick recently," Yumi explains. "So since you weren't, you can visit. But if they let sick people visit, they might make me worse. That's the idea, anyway. And you and I know she wasn't really, but..." But 'they' don't. "Though I'm not entirely clear what did happen..."
Pause. "Uhhhhhhh. Yeah. Or she'd take it real good and get hurt..." Hanae would probably love climbing a whole wall. But she's not Mikoto. At all. She's a swimmer!
But the others are back... Hmm. "Yeah," Yumi answers. "If that's normal, then good. I'll get to see her soon I hope anyway." A pause. It does paint a bigger picture. "You're sure you're OK, too?" Yumi says. "I wish I could've helped..."
Braids!! Beads!! "...You think?" Yumi wonders. Mostly about the second part. But, "...Mm, maybe... I do miss having her around. But it's also like... I'm not going to be able to room with her forever, you know...? And I don't know if she..."
"I mean, it's gotta get down on you to have to watch out for your roommate all the time, right?"
<Pose Tracker> Mikoto Minagi [Ohtori Academy (11)] has posed.
Mikoto grins, when Yumi brings up what Hanae might feel about it, but -- hopefully -- Mikoto has discarded the idea of carrying her straight up the walls of Mitkakihara. Hopefully.
As she listens, though, her cheer fades; Yumi's last question gets an answer first, in the way Mikoto looks away, to her other side. "Yeah," she agrees, with a light frown. "I never think of that." Thought of that, she meant, surely. Mikoto has always had a casual grasp of Japanese at best. What would it say, if it were any other kind of slip?
(Mai is going to university; Mai has her whole life ahead of her. Mai can't stay with her when she does that, Mikoto's sure. She asked if she would be a burden, when she came here. But...)
Instead, she comes to what happened, with a little shake of her head. "There was Wraiths attacking Sanbu Village," Mikoto explains, frank as ever. "These ones made it so they was scared of changing and, couldn't let go." Her words hitch, just so, with an inward twitch of her fingers.
(On the other side of the bench rests the black case she carries with her everywhere. Mikoto isn't turned towards it, but she knows it's there; it's in the frame, from where Yumi's looking.)
"I'm..." Mikoto starts, still not quite so upbeat, smile wavering. "I'm okay," she settles on, a moment later, smiling to Yumi again. Somehow, even though she's trying to reassure her, the expression is so, so SAD, all written in the arc of her brow, the press of her lips. "But I can't fight being comfortable."
How much, how heavy, how terrible that admission, from someone made to defeat any enemy, to go any length for victory.
<Pose Tracker> Yumi Ohzora [Infinity Institute (11)] has posed.
Probably.
Never... think of that. Ongoing. No, Yumi catches it all right. She is not so sure that's what she means, but Yumi herself wonders if it was insensitive to say that consider Mikoto and Mai anyway. So she doesn't press. Maybe she should, but she doesn't.
"Oh... So, the monsters Eri fights." She knows that much, anyway. "...Scared of change, huh...?"
Yumi notices that twitching of Mikoto's fingers, and she's not so upbeat, so Yumi wonders if she brought her down, but on the other hand... It's a sad, sad expression already.
Yumi doesn't look at the case. It's there, of course. But why would she look at him?
"...It's hard," Yumi agrees, reaching out towards Mikoto's hand with her own. "I don't know how good at it I'd be, either... I don't like how things are, but I'm scared that they could be worse. This is... comfortable, I guess, yeah. I'm used to it."
"...If I..." She falters. "...When I grow up," she restarts, "...Everything will be different. I'll have to get ready to take over the family... probably get married... I dunno if I'll have time for everyone. I don't know what I'll do about my other duties, with the Staff. So..."
"I'm not sure I can fight being comfortable either," she admits. "...If I could have something that I knew would last, I..."
<Pose Tracker> Mikoto Minagi [Ohtori Academy (11)] has posed.
Mikoto reaches out, to take Yumi's hand. It's not difficult, to make contact with Mikoto; she is an endless engine of physical affection. Her hands are more calloused than Yumi's; a little darker, a little pinker, from all her time in the sun. It almost obscures the pale stock she comes from, entirely too fine and well-bred.
"Yeah," she affirms, downcast. "It's Eri's monsters. But, they're not like Witches at all. There's so many... but we didn't go nowhere strange. And all the Wraiths acted the same, so I don't think there's stuff like Familiars any more. That's how it's different." Mikoto leaves the precise difference to implication; she knows Yumi's familiar with how Familiars made the equation so horrific, and she knows Mikoto's involvement with them, too. "They don't kill people, neither. They just..." She frowns, as she tries to find the words, and settles on: "... they're heavy. And there's so many."
She squeezes Yumi's hand -- but gently, gently. She knows, personally, how easy it is to break. "It's all decided, right..?" She surmises, at length. "It was for me, too... I don't know what I'll do now I'm... doing something different. I guess when I help my Lord Brother, he'll have to figure it out too..." Mikoto wonders whether he could help her figure it out, once he's out here in Tokyo with everyone else.
She doesn't entirely notice herself wondering.
"I wanted to learn how to help cats, but you gotta do real good at science and maths to do that," Mikoto sighs, with a light scowl. "Since it's medicine for animals. But I'm not smart like Honoka or Fuu or Setsuna," Meioh, not Higashi, because one of those girls is much closer to Mikoto in her internal classification, "so even now I'm trying more, I keep failing tests and stuff. But even if I could... I'd probably have to leave Mai, and..."
Mikoto sniffles, her other hand coming up to rub at her eyes. "... I guess Mai's leaving anyway... 'cause she's going to university, too... so I'll see her as much as I see Chitose now, I, I guess... b-but she's working real hard, so... so, I... I can't..." It didn't take a Wraith, to get Mikoto to say such a thing.
It's already in her heart.
<Pose Tracker> Yumi Ohzora [Infinity Institute (11)] has posed.
Yumi's hands are pale on a good day, thin and bony. There's a little bandage on the back of this one. It's much easier to tell where she comes from.
No Labyrinth, no Familiars. That's good. Yumi hasn't pressed Eri for a lot of details on Wraiths--she never did do much hunting with her--so learning a little more is... good. "Heavy. I see."
But Mikoto... she doesn't know. Her brother doesn't know. That gentle squeeze of Yumi's hand makes Yumi look over at Mikoto for a moment. She's 'doing something different', meaning she's living her own life. But what does that mean...?
Yumi wonders for just a moment if it was cruel to free her without giving her more of a path. ...But it's not her place to tell her what to do, right?
"...Yeah. It's a hard job. And..."
Yumi curls her fingers into Mikoto's. "Oh..."
It hurts, to see her like this. But there's something she can do. "I don't know," Yumi admits. "I can't speak for her. I don't really even know her. But..."
She pulls at Mikoto, to get her to look back up. "...I won't leave you behind. Okay? I can't speak for anyone else, but if I'm alive, I'll find a place for you, okay? No matter what happens. So if you're ever not sure what to do... You can stay with me until you figure it out. Okay? I promise."
"...Have you talked to her about it?" Yumi wonders. "It's hard to talk about, I bet."
<Pose Tracker> Mikoto Minagi [Ohtori Academy (11)] has posed.
With that little tug at her hand, Mikoto's gaze turns up, to Yumi's, again. All shiny from a thin lining of tears, it just brings out how strangely gold they are -- too bright, too gold. They catch all the light of the sunset, entirely too capable of catching light, of seeing in dark places.
If Mikoto were better -- if she wasn't thinking so much of her dear brother, if she weren't recovering from how comfortable the weight of torpor really was, if she didn't have the weight of forgotten and unrelinquished promises on her back -- would she see, then, the mistake she's repeating, once and once and once again? She has been trying; she's made so many improvements, over these five tender months.
But she can't let go.
She can't let go.
"Yumi," Mikoto sniffles, and her name wavers with the weight of being left behind. "Yumi, I can come with you? I really won't be a burden? I... I can do a lot of things..." ... very few of which are of use to a company. At least, not any use the corporate world would admit.
She admits, and her heart will shatter: "I don't wanna be alone..."
Mikoto has always been such a loyal girl. What can she do, then, now her loyalties are all disrupted? How can she exist?
"... but, I'm scared if I say that... Mai will get scared and go away. I don't want Mai to go away. But Mai's going away anyway. Mai's gonna pass exams and go to university and grow up and... and Mai can be a normal girl, and... it's good, right?" Mikoto asks, Mikoto insists, lip wobbling. "Mai wouldn't do if it she didn't want to... and... and I can't ask Mai to take care of me all the time, right? 'Cause roommates get tired of it, right?" Tired of her.
<Pose Tracker> Yumi Ohzora [Infinity Institute (11)] has posed.
If Yumi were better--if she were thinking straight, instead of muddled by loneliness and pain--she would see that this is the wrong move. That it's not best for Mikoto, even if it seems kindest. ...But would it be her place anyway?
Too bright, too gold. But that's OK.
"Mm-hm," Yumi answers. "Just... if you can't figure out where else to go, you can come with me, and we'll figure it out." A pause. "No, you wouldn't be a burden. You help me out a lot."
"So..." It's a big 'if', to Yumi's mind, but, "If I'm around, you don't have to be alone."
Her fear, though. Yumi... can get that. "...Then if you're scared she'll go away, and you think she'll go away anyway, then there's no reason not to talk to her, right? If it's the same either way if you don't."
But she can't account for the other. The other one... "Yeah, though," Yumi says. "We can't ask them to take care of us forever. We have to figure out our own way. It's good, for them to figure out their lives... we just have to do the same, OK? We can both figure it out."
And if Mikoto doesn't? If she never can?
...Well, Yumi will be in charge of her family eventually, right? She can make a place for her, if she has to.
"You don't have to be afraid. But you really should talk to her, OK?" ...Not that she's taking her own advice, at the moment.
<Pose Tracker> Mikoto Minagi [Ohtori Academy (11)] has posed.
What isn't best for Mikoto is often very, very kind.
"Yumi!" She exclaims, with love and relief, when she invites her along. She smiles, in that lability so like her, and doesn't think for a moment on the 'if'. "Yumi's not alone, neither! We can grow up together!" And she doesn't have to go out on her own, and she doesn't have to figure it out herself, and --
"It's a relief," she adds, smiling, "'cause we know how it works. I still don't get a lot of Tokyo stuff..." As opposed to traditional living, perhaps; Mikoto has always conflated modern life and Tokyo together.
It's nice not to have to explain all those things.
She quiets, though, as she thinks about Mai. "Yumi's right," Mikoto sighs, glancing away. "It's just hard... things are good now, and I don't wanna mess it up. Mai's got lots of worries already... Mai worries lots. Mai cares by worrying. It's hard, 'cause I don't want Mai to worry. I want Mai to smile. But, I... I'll try, Yumi. If you really think it's a good idea."
<Pose Tracker> Yumi Ohzora [Infinity Institute (11)] has posed.
Hmmm. That would mean Yumi would have someone to count on too, wouldn't it? Yumi hadn't thought of it that way. At least, she's pretty sure she didn't. Having someone to take care of isn't so bad, though. Right?
Nevermind that Yumi is supposed to be mostly receiving care at the moment. It's really a good thing that her mother realized she was friends with Mikoto and added her to the list. It was really thoughtful of her...
"Right," Yumi says, and smiles a little. "...It's OK. You'll get it." Yumi understands traditional living and Tokyo, so she can help, right?
But Mai... Well. Maybe Yumi should talk to Mai after all. But still, "Right. You don't want to ruin what you have. But she should know how you feel. It's her decision too, right? You wouldn't want her to make it without all the information she could get." 'If she really thinks it's a good idea'....
Why does Yumi have a bad feeling? ...No, it's probably just that she's feeling bad. It's probably nothing.
"You should tell the people who are important to you how you feel, what you think."
<Pose Tracker> Mikoto Minagi [Ohtori Academy (11)] has posed.
Yumi's mother, it seems, has thought of everything -- and Mikoto doesn't think of Yumi's mother.
Just so.
Yumi assures Mikoto that she'll get it, though -- and helps her get it, here and now. "I... I want to," Mikoto says, finally, cheeks colouring as she squeezes Yumi's hand. "I really love Mai. Really, really!" She repeats herself, to try and communicate why that's different to everyone else she loves, given how liberally she uses the word. "But, I'm scared. What if I'm just someone Mai's taking care of..? And, if I say stuff like that, Mai might just run away..."
Mikoto wants to respect Mai's wishes and her feelings; she's been trying very hard. She's even made herself sleep in her own bed, most of the time, because she doesn't want Mai to feel weird. Maybe Mai feels differently, after all, and it's not good for Mikoto to do things just because they're normal to Mikoto. Cats curl up together when they nap, but people don't.
Be fair: Mikoto came into this discussion shockingly late in life. It simply wasn't a priority for her, growing up. It took Eri, to point it out, despite the presumptions of Minagi.
And she's still presuming, really, even now she's worrying about what Mai thinks. She's still presuming, because she hasn't asked her. Mikoto supposes it makes sense -- that Eri and Yumi's advice would align, in some ways. They're her friends; they want to make her better.
Mikoto swallows, and looks back, to Yumi. "I... I'll try to tell her again," she insists, and doesn't sound terribly brave about it. "I will." And will Mai hurt herself on the kitchen again, this time? Can Mikoto do that to her?
Can she live with herself if she doesn't?
In Mikoto's mind, she still frames it as whose wishes matter more.
<Pose Tracker> Yumi Ohzora [Infinity Institute (11)] has posed.
She's trying! She is doing her best. And she notices the way Mikoto's cheeks color, and reflects on what she could say. ...Given how it goes, Yumi doesn't share that she finds herself a little jealous. She doesn't really think on it much after that. 'Just' someone Mai's taking care of...
"That's the worst," Yumi says quietly. "But you have to know, right?"
Is that how it is? Could she ask her, if that's how it was? They always seemed like good friends, but...
No, Mikoto doesn't sound brave about this. She can't fight 'being comfortable.' "You can do it," Yumi assures Mikoto. "Even though it's hard, I know you can. You've done a lot of hard things."
"...It reminds me of..." A little shakes of her head. "Well, I shouldn't go into that, probably."
She sits up a little straighter at that. It was getting a little harder to breathe. "...Can you take me a little further out?" Yumi asks. "I... want to see the city."
<Pose Tracker> Mikoto Minagi [Ohtori Academy (11)] has posed.
"Mm," Mikoto hums assent, nodding, to Yumi. "I have." Mikoto can do very, very hard things, so maybe this hard thing isn't so different, even though it feels SO different.
She blinks, and tilts her head, as Yumi shakes her head. "Oh... okay," she accepts her not going into it, though there's clear concern in her eyes.
Mikoto nods, though, and hops up. "Yeah! Let me help!" She volunteers, too easily; after all, Eri doesn't need her help hunting in this better world, and she can't fight Wraiths anyway. And Mai's university entrance exams are too complicated for Mikoto to understand, with grades like hers, so all she can really do is remind her it's time to eat. But -- but Mikoto wants to be helpful, wants to help the people she loves, wants to be useful and effective and needed.
She wants this, of course, because she doesn't want to be alone.
Mikoto takes care, despite her enthusiasm, in wheeling Yumi's chair closer to the edge of the hospital rooftop; she's careful, with Yumi. (She still feels a little guilt, for hurting her wrist so badly, back then.) "It's big, right?" She asks, as Tokyo stretches out beneath them. "I never really understood taking it over... but I wasn't raised to lead, so I guess I wouldn't get it. I hope my Lord Brother can find something good to do, when I help him get free, too... probably something handling people, I guess. I guess politics wouldn't be a lie if I can convince my family to give up their claim on Japan, so... maybe that? That's leading lots of people all at once. But maybe my Lord Brother wouldn't like that, since it was, funny, how people thought the Emperor was the Emperor and the Prime Minister mattered and stuff..." Would it still be a joke if the Minagis released their stranglehold on the country? Mikoto doesn't know.
Mikoto sighs, hands sagging over the handles of the wheelchair to rest on Yumi's shoulders, instead. "It's hard to imagine that stuff," her Lord Brother's redemption?, "but Yumi gets it, right?" And surely, she's talking about how much she wants to save her brother from Dark Fall.
<Pose Tracker> Yumi Ohzora [Infinity Institute (11)] has posed.
Yes! It's a thing she can do! But... Yumi notices the concern, and reconsiders. ...But not just yet. She doesn't want to talk over Mikoto yet. And she'd probably stop all over if Yumi started mentioning something else...
"Okay," Yumi says a little more quietly, when she wants to let her help. And Yumi does appreciate that Mikoto is careful; she still resents being in this position, but that's not Mikoto's fault... and she rarely even thinks about how Mikoto hurt her back then.
Taking over Tokyo...
"I..." Yumi hms. "...I would've said a while ago that I didn't get it at all. But that's not really true." She pauses. Mikoto's Lord Brother... Yumi doesn't have anything good to say about him. But if he gets 'free', if he decides not to hurt the world, wouldn't he need something to do? ...She's still quiet when she says,
"If he could help people like that it'd be really good," Yumi settles on. "But maybe it'd be better to start smaller."
It's hard to think about, to imagine... That's true. But...
"Yeah, I get it," Yumi says, and doesn't clarify which one she means. "But..."
"I was thinking about... how I've been having these weird dreams, lately. When you looked all concerned at me, I realized you would worry if I didn't tell you. So that's all it is. But they're nothing bad."
"I mean, I can tell in the dreams... there's these weird voices, but I know they're trying to... cheer me on, kind of. So it's not bad."
She brings up a hand to rest on Mikoto's hand on her shoulder. "..It's... It's okay..." She's been getting quieter; she winces a little, as she leans back. "Nn..."
<Pose Tracker> Mikoto Minagi [Ohtori Academy (11)] has posed. <SoundTracker> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5A3gO4Oy7iA Sefiros - Everything = Nothing
"Yeah," Mikoto agrees, vaguely. "I guess starting smaller is better."
Perhaps even just starting with one person...
And... her dreams, again.
Mikoto's hand squeezes Yumi's shoulder, gently. "Yumi? Yumi, you okay?" She prompts, with clear concern. "We can go back if you gotta. It's okay. I'll come back again. I'll bring Yumi's stuff, too!" If they're too worried to let Hanae in, they must be willing to let Mikoto in. Mikoto rarely gets sick, after all.
"It's okay," she repeats, again. "And it's okay if the dreams are weird, even if they're not bad. I,"
The mora hang there, wa-ta-shi, all too polite for her rough-and-tumble exterior. Mikoto's gaze lifts, from Yumi, to the encroaching purple of the night sky. It stops, but it never meant to stop.
She takes a breath.
"I think some of my dreams are like that... I don't really remember, but sometimes when I wake up, it's, nostalgic. And sometimes I don't feel like I was sleeping good at all, even though I went to bed sleepy... um, I don't really think about it."
Mikoto smiles, because it is so easy, for Mikoto to smile. "But it's okay, Yumi. Dreams are just stories your brain makes up to figure out what's going on. It's still in your head, so you'll get it, even if the dreams don't make sense." And that might have been useful -- even factual -- advice, for a normal girl, at a normal time.
Certainly, it sounds legitimate.
"I bet Tama has dreams like that all the time! 'Cause Tama's the boss, and people always gave her fish!" Mikoto says, and she is bright as a star, leaning forward to be able to talk to Yumi better. "Except I guess people don't bring her fish too much no more... I better get Tama another fish soon." With a thoughtful noise, a master plan comes to Mikoto, all out of the blue. "Hey, Yumi, you wanna have another Tama nap? I bet she'd feel better being good influence!"
This way, it's not about Yumi having to go back inside. Mikoto is so smart!
<Pose Tracker> Yumi Ohzora [Infinity Institute (11)] has posed.
"I-I'm..." It stings, that it hurts. It's worse because of it, because she's going to have to go back. Because it means she probably isn't going home today. But before she can dwell too much, Mikoto repeats herself. It's okay, she says. And she'll bring her stuff...
"Okay," Yumi answers softly. And there, he sky...
"...Yeah," Yumi says. "It's a little like that."
It is very easy for Mikoto to smile. It's nice, in the moment. "To figure out what's going on... OK," she says. "These... These help me figure things out, so..."
But bringing up Tama--Yumi sees, after a few moments, what Mikoto is doing. Not at first--because at first she's not doing it. But when that bright plan comes up, Yumi gets it. And it's so nice.
"Yeah. You should get her some more fish." She bites her lip, and if she's crying, she's trying to hide it. "...I think..." Another sting. "Yeah. A nap is a good idea."
"Come back tomorrow, okay...?"
<Pose Tracker> Mikoto Minagi [Ohtori Academy (11)] has posed.
Mikoto, being fair, isn't the sort of person who engages in master plans very often, so it's entirely reasonable Yumi would recognise it so quickly. But she's trying, very hard. She can think for herself, and the thoughts she's chosen to have are about how to get Yumi to be okay taking care of herself.
Mikoto reaches out, towards Yumi's face, before she realises that she's trying to hide her own tears; her fingers curl, and she straightens up, so she's looking ahead of Yumi instead of at her sidelong. She steps back over to the bench, in fact, to shrug Miroku back onto her shoulder -- she's back in an instant, hands on the handles of her wheelchair.
"Mm," she agrees, she encourages. "Naps are good!" She pulls Yumi back from the edge -- of the hospital roof -- and redirects her back, towards the door, to go inside.
"I will," she assures her, as they head back in. "Right after school. I promise."
And Mikoto has always taken promises very, very seriously.
Even the ones she can't remember.
