2019-05-15 - Intermission 4: Shallows
Intermission 4: Shallows | |
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Summary: Madoka says goodbye to Usagi and Nori, and gives them a task. | |
Who: | |
Where: Verone Aquarium | |
OOC - IC Date: 5/16/2019 - 06-02-2015 |
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* Verone Aquarium +*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* The aquarium is distinguished from the surrounding buildings by a several story sculpture, simple in design, that looks like futuristic scaffolding, curving over the roof of the building like a silvery batter's cage. The sculpture was much-needed, as prior to that the building wasn't much to look at from a distance, with a plain, boxy shape and triangular roof covering half of it, with the other half exposing the open-air whale tank. The same renovation that brought the sculpture brought a whimsical exterior design as well, coating many of the walls in sea shells, glass beads, and bright murals of undersea life. Inside, the whimsy continues, with the carpeting decorated with wide-eyed sea life. The main bulk of the aquarium is given over to underwater tunnels, with reinforced plexiglass forming a half-cylinder over the viewers, who are able to wander about as though they were on the bottom of the sea floor. Some smaller sections even have a clear floor as well, permitting a 360 degree view of the massive tanks. Blue water tints much of the light here, and the constant, nearly inaudible hum of shifting water deadens sound, giving the aquarium a quiet, mysterious atmosphere that is reinforced by the regal slowness of the passing fish, rays, and eels. In the largest of the tanks, one of the few whale sharks in captivity churns languidly over the patrons, its massive mouth gulping tiny creatures. Outside by the open-air tanks, sunlight and fresh ocean air lend a giddier quality to the dolphin shows, the antics of penguins and seals, and the educational presentations delivered to visiting school classes. Bare, sandy concrete and silver bleachers cover most of the ground not given over to water, and the wall adjoining the indoor portion of the aquarium is painted with a stylized blue and white wave pattern.
<Pose Tracker> Madoka Kaname [Ohtori Academy (10)] has posed.
"I want to erase every witch before they are even born! Every witch, from every universe, from every dimension, from every past, and every future. With my own hands. I don't care what I become. I don't want to let all those girls cry, all those Puella Magi who believed in their hope and fought against witches. All their friends who tried so much to help but could only win pain. I want them to live on with smiles on their faces. I will destroy the rules that prevent that. I will change them. This is my prayer. This is my wish. NOW -- fulfill it, INCUBATOR!"
And glorious radiance pours through Tokyo until...
...it begins to fade.
Sound penetrates first. That might not have always been the case, but the sound, in this case, is cacophonous; the piercing cry of birds.
...it smells like fish.
Ah -- it's feeding time for the penguins. There are no other people around, just three girls at the edge of their area, watching as birds swim by in the tank, then erupt out of the water to go straight for the bucket. It has already tipped over, and fish are everywhere.
No fights are breaking out.
There is obviously plenty for everyone.
Madoka, still in her school uniform, smiles with a marvelous and concentrated joy as she watches the birds move, and leap, and play.
<Pose Tracker> Usagi Tsukino [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
"This is the kind of place I'd like bring everyone sometime..." Usagi Tsukino is less energetic than usual as she watches the penguins feed. One can almost imagining her spinning around as she examines aquarium by aquarium of aquatic life. Declaring how incredible the experience is. Right now she's more subdued. Hands tucked behind her back. Her antsiness seems to be contained in her fingers. In the way they fidget behind her. Holding each other.
"I was a little upset with you - you know."
BGM Change: To Protect the Stars - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uS__ovTY2AI
It has the air of an admission - or a confession. "I thought that maybe you were doing this for the wrong reasons. Or - that maybe you were being tricked."
One can see her closing her eyes in profile, she's not facing Madoka - or Nori - but forward at the penguins. "I thought about it. I thought - maybe I should call out to Homura. Encourage her to reset again. Even if I didn't know how it works..." There's a certain transformation, like her arms are quavering just a little. "It wouldn't be so bad right? For things to continue like that? For... us to keep meeting... over... and over again. Laughing together. Crying together."
Twin tears spatter on the concrete at that moment. "And even when I realized - I underestimated my same-height sister. That she wasn't doing this for the wrong reasons. That she wasn't being tricked. It felt like. You'd still be going away for a long time." There's this sniffly inhalation, "...maybe forever. And I was still upset. You know - the kind of upset when you learn a friend has an opportunity overseas - but you don't want to tell them - you don't want them... to go - because you want what's best for them. Except... this is even worse than that. Since... maybe it's forever."
And with that, she's pivoting. Right now she's wearing her Juuban High School Uniform, perhaps because that's what she was proud of achieving. This idea of wearing the same uniform with her friends. Her eyes are wet, with undisguised tears. The same crybaby, but there's a smile on her face. "B-But then... but then... I realized if this is it. I don't want to say nothing. I don't want to think - my last moments here with you... were that I was upset. So I had to just say it. I just... had to." She whispers, "I just had to say that while I don't want you to go - I'm proud of you, for what you did." She wipes a trembling arm across her eyes, still retaining her smile, "S-So proud."
There's this pause, where one wonders if she's finished speaking... yet after a few moments she whispers, "And I had another thought too. That - I love you, Madoka-chan. And I realized... that maybe destiny ties people who love each other together. So, I don't have to tell Homura... to keep resetting. Because if that's true - if it does."
The tremulousness carries into her upper and lower lip, as more tears slide down her face, "That even if it's forever. Somehow we'll still be tied together. And that... even if it can't happen. Even if it's impossible. That that tie will still exist. And that... the impossible will become possible. That maybe we can't meet again... but somehow we will. Somehow we'll meet again... and again... and again."
Squeezing her eyes shut, it feels like more of them are squeezed out from the intense pressure, her voice cracking just a little bit, "A-And that thought... made things... a little less sad - you know?"
<Pose Tracker> Nori Ankou [Ohtori Academy (10)] has posed.
Laying in the dirt, la Sirene de Diamant smiles at her friend because she can think of nothing else to do here, at the end of everything. All efforts may have been in vain, but the determination she saw on the face of her friend, despite all, gave her that tiny thread of hope.
And, in the end, it was justified.
Sound cries out.
It smells like -
Fish?
Nori Ankou's vision focuses as she rests a hand on the railing.
She gazes at the birds as they feast. The scales of the fish shine and sparkle. Everything feels brighter. Does it? She looks at her hand, at her sleeve. Nori is in a loose soft blouse in dark violet. She is wearing red silk pajama trousers and a pair of terribly comfortable embroidered slippers. It is quite a fashionable lounging outfit.
She looks at her hand again. To the penguins, towards Madoka, with her shining, glorious smile. Nori looks for long seconds on the face of her friend, now shining like a lamp which has been cleaned of - yes, she thinks, that is what it reminds her of. The glass cover of a ceiling lamp that had accumulated dirt and grease and ancient bugs and which was taken down, washed, and replaced...
What was within was never at fault. Just what it shined through.
The beautiful thought fades a little, or at least moves away from the front of Nori's awareness. She looks round again, several times, before her vision is taken back to the penguins.
Some part of her wants, with profound, sobbing intensity, to believe that she just had an involved nightmare. That perhaps it had gone unnoticed because she was leaning against the rail. That all the grisly visions of sorrow and despair and death and war were -- were just that. A bad dream, half remembered.
But it isn't that easy, is it?
"... Madoka..."
Nori reaches out. Her hand is still shaking. Her voice is too, though less so. She has grown, and she knows it, yet it feels less true somehow. Here, right now. She has space to compose herself further, and she looks up at Usagi, meeting her eyes for a moment, listening. Nori breathes in and out.
"... you made a very big wish, didn't you..."
She smiles again. It surprises her.
But it fades, as smiles often do on her face, and she swallows once. "I am sorry you had to do it... I..." She trails off, on the edge of an elaboration, but somehow it feels absurd. Her eyes return to the penguins as she says, "I feel so foolish. I made up so many stories in my head, about Homura, about everything. I just... wanted... I wanted everyone to be..."
Nori's sentence derails there, too. But perhaps that is enough.
"I wanted to travel with you, and to... to take you round, and show you beautiful things, but I suppose that won't be happening now, will it? Hah..." She blinks a few times, tears welling up from her own eyes, dripping down her eyelashes. She breathes in, breathes out, breathes in and makes a hitching sound in her chest, before she says in a tight teary voice, "It... isn't fair, that you had to do this--"
Her eyes squeeze shut and her face tightens and she falls silent.
<Pose Tracker> Madoka Kaname [Ohtori Academy (10)] has posed.
Two of Madoka's best friends are crying, and Madoka can no more turn from their hurt than she can--
--well, if she couldn't fly already, she might be able to soon.
Let's say it again more carefully, then. She can no more turn away from their hurt than she can be anyone except exactly who she is.
"Everyone is," she murmurs, finishing Nori's sentence, softly. She has long since stopped looking at the birds, though they continue to wark and warble gleefully. Somewhere among them is a soft, brown creature.
A baby penguin noses a tiny fish at him with her nose.
"Or they can be," she continues, thoughtfully. "...if they want to be. If you want to be. But there's a choice, now... many good choices, not only bad ones."
Leaning over, she thumbs away Nori's tears with all the gentle care of someone handling a precious treasure. Which, of course, she is.
This is obviously not going to be enough; she is badly outnumbered, and outteared, and so snakes her arm the rest of the way around the Red Future, pulling her close, while flinging her other one out to draw Usagi in.
She holds them both, tightly. She collects more tears, this time Usagi's, passed cheek-to-cheek, as she leans in to nuzzle them together.
"I love you too, Usagi-chan, Norin," she whispers. "I love you so so much. That's why I'm doing this... it isn't about what's fair, or what's far, or what's forever. It's about you, and Tokyo, and right now."
She presses her hands, hard, against their backs, holding them closely. Holding them fiercely. Holding them together.
<Pose Tracker> Usagi Tsukino [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
Usagi to her credit, tries her best to follow along with Nori. Yet she's more than a little broken up, and the things Nori are saying is making her even more broken up. Because it's not just her that's hurt by this.
The loss of Madoka is going to be felt by so many of them. And so many of them are precious to her too.
"A-A lot of things won't be happening..." She echoes. Trying not to interrupt, just to repeat that she understands.
She watches Madoka thumb Nori's tears, and draw her into a hug. And perhaps she senses the arm is coming because she already feels her center of gravity teetering Madoka's way.
It is a natural force. Madoka's love.
So much so that adorable penguins could never compete.
Nuzzling in cheek to cheek, it has a calming effect, even if Madoka might still feel the warmth of her crybaby tears.
For a while she just allows the three together to indulge in the intimacy and warmth of this gesture. Like she just wants to take it in. Because this is the last time the might be doing this.
The two of them. Or the three of them.
"I know. I-I know you do..." The tears continue to grow wet, but she's smiling. There's no smug arrogance in the fact that she knows Madoka loves her, as if the line were something off a silver screen. Or that she loves them both. Or that she loves them so much. Or that she loves them in so many ways. She simply knows it like it's a universal truth. Madoka Kaname loves them.
And Usagi Tsukino knows it. And that's wonderful to her.
"And... I know. I wish there was another way, that it didn't have to be your choice." She inhales deeply, and there's a certain relaxation there. "But it is. And you made it."
She knows what it is - for people to make choices she does not like. For friends to make choices she does not like.
Four girls made choices like that for her at D-Point.
And unlike back then - she can't simply wish it away.
"So... so... thank you. For making that choice for us. And for the Tokyo we all love."
That smile still exists, like she's putting all her strength into keeping it exist. "I wish I could have shown you how I look in my high school uniform when things were happier. Everything... was so sad by the time... I got to wear it in front of you."
There's a light pause, as if she's considering the implications of that, "But now it's... like you're giving us that chance at those happy times again. Me and Nori-chan and... everybody." There's a slight quavering in her lip again, "Even if... you're not going to be here for them. So I should... thank you for that too."
<Pose Tracker> Nori Ankou [Ohtori Academy (10)] has posed.
Everyone is.
Is that true?
Everyone?
Nori's eyes stay shut as Madoka reaches up and touches her face. She takes a deep shuddering breath at the touch. For a moment, her face feels warm - and a sunny warmth, as if she is absorbing radiance. She has always been cool to the touch. Her eyes fluter open as she is embraced, drawn inwards.
Madoka loves her. And she loves Madoka. And yet -
She has to lean forwards, a little. The darkness turns in her gut. It is unfair. It's unjust. It shouldn't be Madoka who has to do this. It should be -
And perhaps it's a blessing or warmth or the words of Usagi Tsukino, who is speaking so eloquently that she truly is a princess, but Nori's thought turns over for a moment. Her eyes close, though without fresh tears, and she admits to herself: I wish it had been me, don't I?
Then I -
The thoughts falter in her mind. Something is holding them back. The familiar stray thoughts, the counterpoints to things she sees, the back-beat that is bound up inside of her ongoing song. That part is quieted, now. She looks to Usagi for a moment, sniffles, and says, "You're so strong,' before she leans forwards to press her forehead against the top of Madoka's head. A little pink ponytail brushes her cheek, like an angel's paintbrush.
"I l-love you back, I am just... I can't help it... I believe in you, but I'm still... I'm still... oh-h, I don't know..."
Nori breathes in deep. She hugs Madoka tighter.
"It's so strange," she says. "I'm here, now, aren't I? I... I don't feel like I'm anywhere else, in the past, in the future. I'm not in another world, the Sea or any other." She looks to Usagi, and keeps on talking as she does, tears blinked out as she goes.
"I'm going to miss you so terribly, enormously much, if - if you will really be gone. I... I want to be angry about that, I don't know... I feel like I should but all I can think is, is that you don't deserve to... I..."
Finally she bawls. It is loud, loud enough that it may briefly disrupt the penguins. (It is unlikely anything could more than briefly disrupt them from their piscine feast, of course.) The words that come out are, "I'M GONNA MISS YOU SO MUCH! I, I wanna - I want to - to just, to be with you, a-and I don't wanna sound like I'm saying anyone else is b-bad but - but you're such a good person even ruh-right now, after everything, why... Why can't..."
"I'm... I'm..." sorry, she wants to say, but it gets wiped away like her tears did.
Her breathing rises. Falls. Rises again; falls again.
Finally she can speak, her voice lower, weaker, more childish. But the question is sincere, heartfelt, even as the tears keep running down her cheeks. "Can we... i-is there anything to do, for... for you? To..." Help? Make it easier? It feels absurd to ask, even if it isn't that same feeling of a dark shadow being outshone.
<Pose Tracker> Madoka Kaname [Ohtori Academy (10)] has posed.
Madoka tugs Usagi closer when she tries to fake a smile; gives her an extremely knowing, extremely loving glance.
"You don't have to," she murmurs to her, then holds her -- holds them both. Nori, bawling openly, will have to duck her head a little to cry into that puffy cream shoulder she's offered, but dutifully Madoka rises onto her tiptoes in order to make it easier.
And she's crying too.
Both of them have seen a lot of Madoka's tears, over the last few years. Tears of all kinds, all shapes and sizes. There never was a better donor to La Sirene's Sea, and Notorious Crybaby Sailor Moon never had to cry alone if there was any possibility that they could cry together.
But these tears are both familiar, and unfamiliar. It's been such a long time since Madoka has cried for good. The silent tears of grief were the worst of all, but there have been so many other bad ones -- the hissing little sounds she made in between sobs when she was wounded; the tiny tiny noises of inhalation that she made when she was hurt, not in the flesh but in the spirit. Madoka has cried for her dead friends and for the ones whose fate was worse than death, and she's cried for the suffering of the living.
And this could be that...
...but it isn't.
Tears pour down Madoka's cheeks. Where they can, they merge with the others', across cheeks and shoulders, tributaries into a shared river, a vast ocean. But she isn't having trouble breathing -- compared to the others, her lungs fill steadily and deeply -- and the only accompanying sound is the occasional wet snuffle inward.
"Aah," she gasps, at one point, "I must, really need this..."
Her affection overflows her eyes for quite some time. But her eyes are never truly, completely lost to darkness. It's like there's a torch inside her -- something everburning, something bright, and it defies sadness because it knows -- she knows -- that there's something so much better, still to come.
Finally they all start to speak again at once; Madoka makes a soft burble, then subsides, in order to listen to them both.
Her smile breaks across her face like the rising sun.
"Uehihi," she giggles, wetly, but warmly, so so warm.
Her eyes begin to dry. There's a bench nearby and she guides them to it, so that they can all sit down, with her in the middle, an arm over each shoulder. This is the only position in which it's even possible... since it makes them all, more or less, the same height.
She takes another deep breath, and another.
It isn't so dissimilar to what she looked like, before she made her grand request to the Incubator. A girl gathering herself, in order to give a wise answer. A girl who doesn't take her own words for granted.
<SoundTracker> The Name Of Life https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImPM5IDIYPs
Once Madoka finds them, it doesn't take her long to speak her mind. She's shed that kind of hesitation, that shyness, like a butterfly its cocoon. Squeezing one shoulder, then the other, she looks between each of her friends in turn.
"Take care of each other," she says, simply.
Before either of them can accuse her of brevity or platitudes, she keeps going, earnest and honest and so, so tender. Not tender like raw steak, about to be served to the universe. Tender like a lover's touch; like a mother's; like a sister's. Tender like the last day of summer vacation. Tender like the first day of the rest of your life.
"You both... have a lot of people who rely on you," Madoka explains softly. "And you do everything for them -- give everything you can, and don't always leave enough for yourselves..."
Her hands slide down between them, and grasp their hands, and finally unite them in her own lap, so that Nori is holding Usagi's, and Madoka is holding both of theirs.
"If I'm not going to always get to be... THERE there, for you anymore, every day, wearing uniforms and getting snacks, that kind of there, because I'm busy all the time... then, you can thank me, by taking care of each other," she finishes with a firm nod, one that bounces her twintails all over both of them. "Then I won't have anything to worry about!"
She squeezes.
<Pose Tracker> Usagi Tsukino [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.
Usagi meets Nori's eyes as she talks about where she is. "You're right here with us Nori-chan." Is her answer at least. And it takes no strength to maintain that smile in saying so. However, Madoka tugs her close and says she doesn't have to. "You're right..." She whispers, with a little sniff. Eyes still wet. "You're right but... I want Madoka-chan's last sight of me to have... a smile. I wouldn't forgive myself if I sent you off with anything else."
Usagi certainly needs this. Just as Madoka needs it. Just as Nori needs it. The three of them cry together and the wet noises of them sound a little different. Usagi hiccups after a while, as Madoka starts to giggle, and after a moment, the laughter seems infectious, because she titters a little too.
Madoka finds it easy to guide her to the bench, because as things stand right now Usagi would go anywhere with her. Her feet work in whichever direction Madoka want them to. And soon enough she's sitting down, and as Madoka puts her arm over her, Usagi starts to nestle her head against her shoulder.
Her eyes are perhaps a little tired. Usagi is always tired.
Madoka once said they could be tired together, and so she takes her up on that right now.
"Mmmmm." Her lip curls up into a smile as Madoka offers that, for what they can do for her. The sound from her a humming one as she mulls it over, before agreeing, her fingers curling into Madoka's palm, and in Nori's. United in this, "Alright. I'll do that. I'll take care of Nori-chan for you. And I'll let Nori-chan take care of me."
The girl whispers lightly, "And we'll do it in our own way. Because... those moments when Madoka-chan took care of us? And those moments when we took care of Madoka-chan."
Her eyes are a little sleepy, but she's keeping them open, her chin turns lightly towards the tother two. A blonde twintail sliding down from her shoulder to behind her. There is something low and sweet in how she speaks next. "They're irreplaceable."
<Pose Tracker> Nori Ankou [Ohtori Academy (10)] has posed.
'I must really need this.'
In the future, Nori Ankou will wonder about those words.
Here, now, she holds Madoka; because this is a thing that she knows. Their tears mingle together. It is the kind of thing that you don't take back. It is more sacred, perhaps, than blood. When Madoka moves, Nori goes with her.
She giggles back.
As they set down, Madoka speaks. There is resolve in her voice, Nori can tell - and yet, it is a loss of nothing save a shroud, or so she thinks.
Madoka gives them a charge. Take care of each other.
Nori's eyes turn down to her red-silk-covered knees. Her lips purse for a moment. She feels the tremors threaten inside of her again. She's going to sob and deny it, she knows.
Madoka slides her hand round. Into Usagi's.
For a long moment Nori's hand doesn't move. She thinks on what it is that Madoka has said. The charge laid upon her. It is so simple and yet she knows that it will be a simple thing with many, many permutations. For a fleeting moment she feels tiny. She thinks of the campaign, such as it was, that she led. Seeing the others die. Seeing Endo perish. Seeing the violent demise of so much of the world in which she lived, the beautiful city that stands on the ancient bay.
There is the subtle trembling of those doubts, that feeling. But the tremble comes... then it stops. Madoka speaks of uniforms and snacks and there is a sweet deep pain inside of Nori's heart. She tilts her head forwards for a moment... then leans it backwards... and looks upwards, not seeing. Her vision is in the back of her mind.
Take care of each other.
Can I do it? Nori Ankou wonders.
She wonders deep within herself. In the deep abyss which that warm light that comes from Madoka, that warmth that is so uniquely and characteristically hers, shared without stinting or hesitation like the candle that lights a thousand others yet is itself undiminished. That flame finds something else - a deep and hidden recess, where the waters had pooled upon the waters.
That tiny point of light touches, and with a faint shiver, Nori feels warmth ripple out from within her.
I can.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H74mr2KHTX8
Her fingers curl and she grasps Usagi's in her own, a firm energy filling a slack grip.
Nori turns her head. Her cheek rests against Madoka's head lightly. She looks to Usagi and says, with a lower sort of murmur, "Then that's what I'll do, Madoka." She turns her head a bit more, to kiss Madoka's forehead, and then the firm grasp turns into a gentler hold.
"I suppose it won't be easy, will it?" she asks... both of them, perhaps, or the heavens. "But that's why we're together. If you fall, I'll catch you. And I know you'll do the same."
Nori's hand does not feel cold any more.
And that inner denial never comes.
<Pose Tracker> Madoka Kaname [Ohtori Academy (10)] has posed. <SoundTracker> Shallows - Daughter - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGnAsQobwrw
Madoka's relief and happiness washes over them all like a wave.
"I'm so glad..."
She relaxes, an inch at a time, snugged tightly between Usagi's head on her shoulder, and -- briefly -- Nori's lips on her cheeks, which does NOT embarrass her; instead of pinkening, she simply warms, warms further, warms more deeply.
The silence becomes pleasant. The noise of the aquarium feels very far away. The ceiling, very high. The walls distant. It is becoming less of a place, and more of an idea.
Beneath them, the bench has become less of an interior bench and more of an outdoor bench. Wooden, like you might find in a park.
"I always was your very biggest fan," Madoka murmurs, finally. "You're... so much of why I'm doing this, but also why I know that I can."
She shifts her weight, bumping her hip into Nori's, pressing a little harder with her shoulder. Her voice is soft and serious. Her breath tickles her classmate's ear. It smells like choco-mint.
"Nori-chan became Red Future, and La Sirene du Nord became La Sirene de Diamant, but she was always Nori-chan... so many terrible things happened. And wonderful things, too. Sometimes you wanted to change, and some changes were thrust upon you... But you never stopped being so very much yourself. You never stopped being an amazing person."
Like the tide, she shifts back, this time to hold Usagi ever more closely. Their eyes meet. Madoka's are like pink glass, pink crystal, pink diamond... but only in how they glisten, they sparkle. There's nothing hard about them at all. So maybe other pinks are more apt. Pink petals are soft, but there's so much love there, more than a flower could ever hope to have for a human.
"And Usagi-chan, too... Usagi is Sailor Moon is Princess Serenity is Usagi." Her smile dimples. "Maybe you never wanted to change at all. And maybe you did anyway... but only in how everything, and what it called upon you to do, revealed who you really were. You were always a princess, all along. A kind and brave and wonderful girl."
She leans back, lets her head dangle on the edge of the bench, stares up at nothing.
"And you saved me, over and over... while being scared, and being silly, and being uncertain, and being sad... just like me..."
Her eyes close. Her smile remains.
"I believe in Sailor Moon, because I believe in Usagi-chan. And I believe in La Sirene, because I believe in Nori-chan. And that's why... I'm ready to believe in Madoka-chan too. No matter where I go next... or what happens to me... wonderful and strange... Madoka-chan will be Madoka-chan, friends with Nori-chan and Usagi-chan, and Sailor Moon and La Sirene's biggest fan..."
Light rises around all three of them.
"...That'll never change."