2013-09-29 - Philosophy at a funeral
Zoom in on Hikawa Shrine. Sei Itazura, dressed in a white kimono, is sitting at the base of the gate with her back propped against it. She's speaking to Madobe Kuroi, who is standing a few steps below her. They've been talking about wishes and the world.
"That look of pity you get when someone tries to prop you up 'cause they smelled your weakness. It's pretty annoying, isn't it?" Madobe's not saying this with accusation, it's almost like a non-sequitor. It's practically self-reflection. "I'd guess it'd be because they're acting one way, and they think they're being nice, but they don't realize the pity makes it worse."
She looks up and towards Sei. "Is it tough, spending your time around thugs who think they're being gentlemen? S-sorry for being forward, but it seems you see through that illusion, huh?"
"It's the worst," Sei agrees, to the part about people having to prop you up. "Only thing worse than being a weakling is having someone know it, even if they think they're only trying to help." She tilts her head to the side, and then grins. It's the grin of a wolf. You can almost see her canines elongating. "That's why its my policy never to be weak. It's a dog-eat-dog world, Chibi-C, so you gotta be the eater or you're gonna end up the eaten."
The second question causes her to draw her brows together. "Is it tough? No it's not tough. What do you think I am, if not a thug in a suit?" She laughs, finding the whole question absurd. "Or a kimono, as the case may be. You're right, the Yakuza are obsessed with putting on a good image, but we're all just thugs. Thing is, way I figure it, that makes us more honest than most." She points a lazy finger at the younger girl. "Everyone's a thug, least everyone who gets anywhere in the world. The ones I can't stand are the ones who don't know it, who think they're all self-righteous and shit but they're no differant than any of the rest of us. They just pretend they're fighting for right, or the law, or love. But thats BS. They're fighting because they enjoy the rush. Because convincing themselves that they're helping people makes them feel better about themselves. Because they like beating people up, but they don't want to be judged so they choose to beat up the ones society labels 'criminal'. Well I got news for you, sister. The only difference between me and those who say they fight for 'love and righteousness' is how honest we're willing to be with ourselves. In this case, I ain't the liar."
Madobe listens. It's a really depressing speech, all things told. If you believe it, then the world is half empty. If you don't, it's just depressing that someone believes that. Either way, it's a total downer. She's not sure what to say. She expected to get bitched at for calling the yakuza 'thugs', or something like that.
She looks at the ground. This isn't because she's depressed but because she, ironically enough, is starting to feel pity for Sei. And she doesn't want to show it, because she /knows/ how that feels. So she's just not going to look at her and masquerade it as feeling sad for having her world view blown out of the water instead.
"Even if they're lies..." She murmurs, then trails off.
...Maybe she shouldn't--
"Even if they're lies, it doesn't mean they'll never be real. Even if we were just fighting for ourselves, if we try to steer it towards the service of others--in the end, maybe we could divorce our selfishness from it and make it real. Worth a shot anyway, right? Won't happen if we just wish for it."
She smiles at the ground for a moment before adding, "Ah--I should probably get going. It was n-nice seeing you again." She bows her head lower before turning to leave.
Sei shrugs her shoulders. "I don't believe it, kid, but you know what? Maybe you can make it work. Sure as hell ain't gonna happen if you just wish for it. So you try it and let me know how it works out." She starts to stand up from where she was sitting, brushing the back of her kimono off with her hands. It doesn't look too bad, despite the fact that she's been sitting on the ground for a while.
"Me, I'll keep doing what I'm doing. I'm not interested in dreams and wishes. I've seen the world, a hell of a lot more of it than you have, I'm willing to bet, and I know what it's really like. But I believe in letting everyone be a hypocrite in their own way." She smirks again, turning back towards the gate and the funeral for a nameless thug in a suit taking place within. "But I'll keep an eye on you, Chibi-C. Impress me. Who knows.. maybe one day I'll believe in heroes, too." She laughs, as if to say 'fat chance', and then goes on her way into the shrine, flipping her perfect black hair over her shoulder as she does.
