2022-11-11 - Knowing Yourself

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Title: Knowing Yourself
Summary:

Mai and Kyouka discuss gloomy things in the rain.

Who:

Mai Tokiha, Kyouka Okazaki

Where:

Keiyou Industrial District

OOC - IC Date:

November 11, 2022 - Monday, January 25, 2016

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+ Keiyou Industrial District +*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
  Stretching across eight districts, Keiyou Industrial Zone is like a small     
  city unto itself, consisting primarily of factories, power plants,            
  warehouses, refineries, and other heavy industry. Boxy, soot-stained          
  buildings, multi-story chemical tanks, and baroque masses of pipes and        
  girders dominate the architecture, and a distant clanking or hum can be       
  heard at all hours of the day throughout most of the district. Cranes,        
  forklifts, and other heavy equipment are common in this area, as are metal    
  gratings exhaling steam, dizzying catwalks and ladders, and tall stacks of    
  shipping crates.                                                              
                                                                                
  The buildings closest to the bay are often the most presentable, so as to     
  avoid besmirching its beauty overmuch. The district cannot help but encroach  
  upon the bay, however, for it is its lifeline, providing thermal power,       
  naval shipping, and copious quantities of water for industrial purposes.      
  Keiyo long ago outgrew the land allotted for its uses, and so artificial      
  islands have been built up to permit its continued expansion.                 
                                                                                
  Since its relatively low potential for civilian casualties (particularly at   
  night) appeals to magical girls, and its profusion of powerful industrial     
  machinery appeals to their foes, combat is not infrequent in this area.       
<Pose Tracker> Mai Tokiha [Ohtori Academy (12)] has posed.

January is full of chill and a bit of damp. It might not be quite cold enough to snow today, but there's a faint drizzle, just enough to make the air a little wet and a lot cold. As evening settles on the industrial district, a bit of mist seems to gather on the water.

If Mai were being sensible about things, she'd have headed back to the dorms by now. Curfew's still a ways off - however little she cares about it - but she should be getting supper started. There's even a bag of groceries in her hand, ready to be turned into something delicious, but safely chilled by the ambience.

It's probably time to head home. And yet-

Most of the damage around here she remembers seeing was repaired long ago. And yet, she can remember - nights of fire and obsidian, covered by repairs and new construction. So she drifts along, running a gloved hand along a damp railing, just...taking in the scenery for a little bit.

"...am I still good at staying out of things, I wonder..."

<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.

If Kyouka were on her routine tonight, she'd be either working on homework or working on making dinner right about now, but a listless afternoon yesterday (despite a very fun morning spent hanging out in the arcade) meant she caught up with her schoolwork early. Her mother was working late so they made other dinner arrangements, and Kyouka could start on her evening training regimene early, but... well, it's easy enough to justify not starting it yet. She's tired, she could spend more time with Wolfy, the weather's not really that great for it, she almost--

She wanted to take a walk. And no other reason.

She was bundled up for the drizzle in her favorite purple parka, this time with the hood drawn up to keep her dry, gloves, jeans, and her favorite hiking boots are both warm and well-suited to managing the weather (both in staying dry and handling slightly damp surfaces). It's functional in all the right ways, which is how she likes it.

She'd set out with no particular goal in mind. Her mind half led her here because she'd liked parkouring through the area before, even though it was by no means the right condition, but it seems like she's not the only person out there.

Kyouka squints as she sees the other figure, making sure she's ID'd the right person in the drizzle. "... Tokiha-san?" she calls out from the other side of the street.

<Pose Tracker> Mai Tokiha [Ohtori Academy (12)] has posed.

Interrupted in the middle of maudlin musings, Mai starts abruptly at the voice calling out. She turns, casting her gaze about in the gloom because the address is just startling enough-

Well, it isn't someone she's prone to butt heads with, at least. Mai pulls down the edge of her red scarf to call out. "Okazaki-san! Wasn't expecting to see anyone else out here."

Her expression darkens to a frown, and she tries to peer through the drizzle and the mist. "...it isn't trouble tonight, is it? I can help if it is, but I didn't think I'd heard much of...well, some of the troubles that seem to come up." She shakes her head, glancing for traffic before crossing the street to meet Kyouka. "...anyway, trouble? Or just enjoying the view?"

<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.

Kyouka chuckles a little when Mai says she wasn't expecting to see anyone else out here. "I mean, I could say the same thing... I figured this area would be pretty deserted this time of night."

She keeps an eye out for traffic as Mai crosses, and then offers a little wave of a gloved hand when she savely gets to the other side. "Evenin'." She blinks when Mai asks if there's trouble, before it clicks for her a moment later. "Oh, no, none of... that kind of trouble, as far as I'm aware. Just... felt a little cooped up at home and wanted to get out for a little walk, you know? So I guess mostly that second thing."

She glances at the bag of groceries Mai's holding. "You headin' home to make dinner? Or are you out to enjoy the view, too?"

<Pose Tracker> Mai Tokiha [Ohtori Academy (12)] has posed.

Mai laughs at the synchronicity, and waves at the mist-shrouded sea in the distance. "Same, honest. Just in a bit of a mood, and felt like going for a walk. Though I'm questioning the mood that brought me back here..."

She shakes her head, and continues walking - up until she spots a particular warehouse in the distance, a frown on her face. "...this probably wasn't the best place to come to improve my mood, admittedly. Too many times there's been trouble. But I needed a walk before I got started on supper - something to wake me up a bit. Tempura is not a dish for the drowsy."

She turns to Kyouka, though her expression isn't exactly any more cheerful. "...how are you holding up? I know there's been a few rough nights lately..."

<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.

"Bit of a mood, huh?" Kyouka asks, before turning her attention to the sea that Mai is gesturing towards. She's no model of cheerfulness herself as turns to continue walking with Mai.

Though she does tilt her head as Mai spots that warehouse and seems to react to it. She follows her gaze to look at it, but for her... well, it doesn't have any real connotations yet. Aside from she probably saw it on a previous pass through here. "Guess you've probably run into a lot of trouble if you've been at this a while..."

Understatement of the century, surely, but she's seen so much and yet barely seen anything at all.

When Mai asks her that, well, she stops walking, looks at her feet, and then to the ocean again. "I mean, I'm alive, so... pretty good start there." She frowns a little and shakes her head. "I don't know. I thought I was settling into a rhythm, but then..." But then that fight happened.

<Pose Tracker> Mai Tokiha [Ohtori Academy (12)] has posed.

"Ran into trouble...caused trouble..." Mai wiggles her hand, but still turns determinedly away from that particular warehouse. There are...better places to look around here. Better views.

It takes a moment for Mai to realize that Kyouka's stopped in her tracks. She doesn't turn until after Kyouka says 'I'm alive', and when she does finally take in the expression on the younger-but-taller girl's face...

There's no cheeky grin, no reassuring smile, Mai's face just falls. She turns fully, steps closer, hesitates. There's jokes she could make, but- well, they're horribly inappropriate.

"...when I started..." Mai's voice is quiet, nostalgic a moment, as she recalls. "...the first - no, the second day I did this, I was told the stakes. And I said...that I would gladly risk my life."

But then she shakes her head vehemently. "But in my case, that's because I am frankly very screwed up. I'm not the example you should be looking to. And the same goes for-" She pauses, starts counting fingers, then gives up. "...a fair few of us."

There's ferocity, fire in her gaze as she looks Kyouka in the eye. "You were incredibly brave. But - some of what can happen out there is terrifyingly dangerous. It's...there's no shame in being scared of what happened, what could have happened."

<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.

Kyouka catches Mai's reaction when her face falls, glances over, and there's a look, for just a moment, like she wants to apologize for... something, but ultimately she just says nothing, until Mai starts talking again.

Mai describes how she got started, how she actually had someone explaining the stakes to her, and Kyouka makes some vague noncommital sound that could be a grunt, or a choked-off laugh, or something else equally nebulous. "At least you had someone explaining things to you. I kind of got tossed in the deep end of..." she makes a vague gesture. "... all of this."

The other girl admitting she's messed up in the head does get a sort of hollow laugh from her, but it's not the kind of laugh that indicates she found that funny--more the opposite, and she just doesn't have a lot of good options to verbalize her thoughts with at that. "I mean, if it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty good at doing my own thing regardless of whatever anyone else thinks." A little too good, sometimes, but mostly in a few specific other areas.

Kyouka does look a bit taken aback by the ferocity in Mai's expression, and takes a few long moments to process that, before she finally nods a little. "Okay." She looks down at the ground again and nods once more. "Okay."

"Yeah, I've been trying my best not to think about it, but... that's probably not that good for me, in the long run. Just..." She leans against a streetlight as she looks to the ocean. "I almost died. Twice. In the same night. And you all pulled through--for which... seriously, if you ever need anything, I'm there. But... I can't stop thinking about what that would've done to my parents. What would they even hear? Gas leak? Freak automative accident? Something else normal but entirely wrong? I found out recently one of my friends has died and come back to life, and..."

She shakes her head. "Magic keeps throwing curveballs at me that I don't know how to process. And the most messed up part is..." She takes a deep breath, steeling herself for this next bit.

"... I'd do it again. There's no way I could not, if someone was in trouble..."

<Pose Tracker> Mai Tokiha [Ohtori Academy (12)] has posed.

At least Mai had someone explaining...some very vague things and who keeps taunting her at inopportune moments. Mai actually snorts briefly at Kyouka's quip - but also doesn't press the point, because it's not a contest.

There's concern in Mai's gaze. Worry. Something brushing on maternal, at least as much as she can think to be for a friend. Because determination like that, conviction like that, that straightforward thinking that shows a strong heart-

"...can be dangerous." A bare whisper, in response.

Mai doesn't stand in the same pool of light, beneath the same streetlight. There's an overhang nearby, and that's at least a little shelter from the drizzle - but she leans against corrugated metal in the shadow, as Kyouka puts voice to her fears, her worries - and maybe the most messed up part, her convictions.

"...it's a relief, isn't it? To know yourself, know for certain that if the time comes, you'll do what's right." Mai's voice is quiet, and with the shadow over her it's hard to make out her expression - but her gaze isn't on Kyouka, it's turned out to gaze at the misty ocean. "It's a relief, it's reassuring - and it's frightening at the same time. To know yourself, know that you'd put yourself in danger like that."

Mai takes a deep breath, lets it out in a long sigh as she lets her groceries dangle close to the ground. "...it's not a debt I'm ever calling in, Okazaki-chan. Because - they'd grieve. No parent wants their child to take on that risk. The story they'd hear...maybe it would just be a missing persons case. Or a heart attack. All kinds of mundane explanations that wouldn't..."

She raises an arm to her face a moment, but a dampened jacket doesn't help much.

After a pause, Mai takes a shuddering breath, and finally turns to face Kyouka. "...at least two of your friends have done that little...miracle."

She does not elaborate further unprompted.

<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.

Kyouka glances over, briefly, when Mai whispers that line, not quite catching it--she's not even sure she heard anything with the sounds of rain and bay nearby, so she doesn't ask for a followup.

Kyouka nods a little as Mai describes how comforting and scary convictions can be and... it rings so true for her, at the moment. She's never really been afraid of herself, and still isn't, not really, but she's more scared of the potential consequences of what her convictions might do. "I've always been like that," she says, a bit more quietly. "I hate seeing people get picked on, get bullied... I have a hard time standing by when I can do something, and these days what I can do is... so much scarier and impossible than I could have ever imagined before. But if I ever stop then..."

She blinks and frowns when Mai mentions not calling in that debt, and the reason why--oh, that wasn't what she meant at all, but just as she's about to say something, she sees that gesture, but can't see what it was for, at first, given the rain and the dark, but then she says...

She's a bit quicker on the uptake this time than the previous conversation this came up in. "Oh, oh damn." That gets her away from the lamppost, into the dark with her friend, offering either a full on hug or at least a comforting arm slung across a shoulder, should Mai seem receptive to either. Plenty of maternal instincts to go around, it seems.

"Sorry, I didn't mean... Geeze." How the hell does one ask for follow-up to that?

<Pose Tracker> Mai Tokiha [Ohtori Academy (12)] has posed.

The girl standing next to Mai is...a good person, by Mai's metric. Someone with convictions and courage and hope, and there's a pang in her heart as Kyouka speaks of those convictions, and the fear, and...

Heroic. Such a dangerous thing.

Mai - shies away from the comforting arm at first offer. Because - because it's not something she's still grieving over. But there's hesitation in her eyes, she shakes her head minutely - and then goes for the arm-over-shoulder approach herself. A little comfort on a cold night, perhaps.

Because Mai's not sure if she needs the comfort, but she's not the only one here tonight.

"...I don't know which friend talked to you, and I'm not going to guess. It's..." She shakes her head. "It happened. It was a whole thing with Searrs and Artemis and Miyu Greer - but I made it back. Eventually."

She doesn't think about it much. Which might not be a good idea in the long run.

"...but seriously. You're one of us, and don't think you owe us anything for helping. You're just...doing the best you can, and I find that admirable, Kyouka Okazaki." There's a faint smile from Mai, and her hand tightens on Kyouka's shoulder.

"...but please be careful. Just because you can do something to help doesn't mean you need to throw yourself into danger over and over. Take that advice from..." Mai pauses, and a wry smirk finds its way onto my face. "...actually please don't let any of my friends know I told you that, they will not let me hear the end of it."

<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.

Kyouka is quick to offer comfort, but also quick to back off if it's unwanted--if it's only going to do more harm than good, what's the point, right?

All the same, she also willingly accepts Mai's offer of an arm. She's a rather huggy person, so either way, it's good, and... well, she does appreciate the gesture, in that moment.

She doesn't push for details, or ask for follow-up on just how many of them have experienced that miracle, but just comment quietly, "... it's kind of insane just how much there is to learn about, and how it's still hidden from the regular world, somehow..."

Recognition Inhibition is... Hmm. Kyouka has some thoughts on that, but there's only enough room to handle one existential crisis at a time.

"Thanks. That means a lot to me." There's a beat as Mai confirms that she doesn't owe them anything, and she looks very sheepish as she admits, "I mean, what I meant was, like, if you ever needed help moving a couch, or someone to talk to, or, you know, stuff like that..."

She leans into that embrace a little as Mai tightens her grip on her shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm... Definitely not wanting to repeat that experience again any time soon. It was... surreal. To know that Yumi-chan literally held my heart in her hands..." She laughs a little as Mai mentions what her other friends would think. "Yeah, no worries. This'll stay between us."

She looks thoughtful, and there's something that's clearly on her mind as she looks at the ocean. "... Did I mention, before, how Strike Wolf and I became partners?"

<Pose Tracker> Mai Tokiha [Ohtori Academy (12)] has posed.

Sometimes it's good to just have a quiet moment.

Mai can't deny that there's a lot to understand - or just be confused by. "There's a lot. More than I ever think I'll understand - though I'll admit I don't go searching too much. I know what my duty is...and I step up when there are things I can't ignore." A dark expression falls over her face a moment, and she glances towards a certain warehouse with a newer roof than its walls.

But she laughs at the offer, and then waves it off. "Things just kind of...work themselves out there. Doing what you do - la Sirene arguably owes you as much as you owe Yumi. Just...keep being yourself, I guess. That's what little advice I can offer."

Mai takes one last look at the ocean, then shakes her head. "...you didn't. Though based on what I know of you so far..."

Mai releases the embrace entirely, takes a few steps to return to the light, and turns to face Kyouka with a fiery grin. "...I'm going to guess you saw someone being a jerk, couldn't let it slide, and did something foolhardy and heroic."

The bag of groceries in one hand rustles, and Mai checks her phone. "I should go and get supper started - but we can walk together a little longer, if you want to tell me the full story?"

<Pose Tracker> Kyouka Okazaki [Juuban Public School (10)] has posed.

At the mention of duty, Kyouka's gaze turns downwards... to her right wrist, currently stuffed into her jacket pocket. Duty, oath... really, what's the difference, at a certain point?

She misses that glance back towards the warehouse.

The reaction is almost automatic when Mai mentions La Sirene. "Oh I'd never expect her to--" and in the middle of that sentence she pauses, and frowns at herself. "... okay, I thiiiink I get your point, here. Though Yumi-chan, I also owe for..." ... was she counting making a bunch of precooked meals as payback for anything? "... Hm. Maybe I just accept I like helping people and leave it at that."

She nods, "Right. I'll keep that in mind. Thanks, this... this really helped."

Kyouka actually laughs at Mai's quip, "I mean, you're not wrong..." She nods as Mai says she has to get going, and moves to join her as she continues her walk. "Sure. Okay, so I'd just gotten off the bus one day, when I heard this psychich call for help. It leads me to this mage who's trying to forcibly activate Strike Wolf, and..."