I hate hospitals. Most people think of them as places where sick people get better. I see them as places where people wither until they die.

My father was in one for over a month. There had been an accident... and he was brain dead. I heard a few nurses call him a vegetable. How could that be? There was no room for growth. No amount of nurturing could save him, heal him. I felt completely helpless.

He was cold all the time. Machines kept him alive. They pumped air into his lungs and nutrients into his veins and made certain his bodily functions were taken care of. At first everyone was so nice to me, but that changed. I was told I needed to accept it, that there was nothing left but a shell and a burden.

They were keeping him alive until we could accept it. And I couldn't, because I just dumb and believed I'd lost the only person who ever really cared about me. The rest of my family had finished accepting it. They were just indulging me... and soon enough they weren't even doing that anymore.

It was decided it had gone on for too long. They were pulling the plug. I had one more day. Visiting hours ended at nine. They made a special exception so I could stay until ten. I had to make the last train so I could make it to school in the morning.

I wouldn't even be allowed to stay and watch- I was the only one there.

It was nine forty... something... and there was this cute little thing on Daddy's bed. I'd never seen anything like it. Waving it's fluffy tails at me and staring. It told me I had the power to save him, if that's what I wanted.

A destiny of battle against witches in return. It was an easy decision.

It was my decision.

It wasn't a decision at all...

He woke up. It was a miracle they all said.

...

He hates me.

My whole family hates me.

... I hate him.

I should have let him die.

If I had to choose a word to describe how I was as a new Magical Girl? The first one that comes to mind is reckless.

I'd do things my way. The right way. I believed in all these things that feel distant and foolish now.

Even the girl who I wanted to be my senpai? I didn't really listen to her at all. I was so convinced that I knew better.

And so my first true senpai was a younger girl by the name of Yaori Kumori.

Sounds weird doesn't it? She was probably eleven, going on twelve. But she taught me more than most when I tried to poach from her.

At the time I would have told you I was doing the 'right thing' rather than poaching. Heh.

All it got me was a crossbow bolt in the center of my chest. I was bleeding out... dying. Right in front of two girls. One who was my friend... and another who I thought might be.

I was saved, by dumb luck. By the decency and charity of someone who had given me up for dead not long before.

A way of life that seemed so 'right' before became meaningless if it was only going to get me killed.

It wasn't easy dealing with what came after. Trying to rebuild myself, dealing with the nightmares, the paranoia. But there were people there for me. One more than most...

And Yaori Kumori was still out there. A silent, invisible demon lord ruling over Shinjuku with an mailed fist.

So I made plans. Most of those plans seem distant and foolish now too. No amount of planning could have prepared us for what happened...

But somehow in the end we were victorious... and the demon lord turned out to be a scared little girl, who had just been trying to survive.

I'd made a mistake, but it was a mistake that allowed me to survive, to thrive. So was it really a mistake at all?

... If I'd known what was coming next, maybe I would have made one more.

The first time, I met Kyouko Sakura, she chased me away- I had no idea back then how lucky I was to escape death on her spear.

The second time, she caused me to question a lot of things I never had.

The third time, she cared for me after a battle gone wrong.

And the fourth time... she was there for me when noone else was.

Why did she choose to invest in me? A dumb little reckless amateur? To this day I have no idea.

But it doesn't matter why. The point is that she did. And it took me so long to recognize the simple fact...

That she had always been there.

Were you expecting something deeper? More profound? I could list so many reasons why I admire her if you want, but the fact is that Kyouko Sakura was always there for me, always providing support. When others disappointed, she did not. When I held myself up to an impossible standard, she brought me down to Earth. When I needed a shoulder to cry on, she gave me one freely.

And that's why I'd do anything to preserve her happiness.

When I rejected Mami Tomoe and Sayaka Miki, she was there to defend me. When they came to Shinjuku threatening my bottom line, she was there fending them off just as ferociously as ever.

The least I can do is return the favor. And that's why I won't let her fight alone.

It came to pass though, that the two of us weren't enough. The Chevaliers movement would mean our both of our deaths. A quick one or a slow one, but death all the same.

And so we decided to recruit others in defense. In them... I decided to pay forward what she did for me.

To protect them as she does me. To be there for them like she was for me.

Except. Everything went wrong

• Kyouko Sakura - Her senpai. Her Girlfriend. There's little that Eri wouldn't do for her. During Kyouko's early career, she invested in Eri despite having no reason that Eri has ever figured out, and was there for her unconditionally no matter what choices Eri made. Kyouko invested in her early in her career, and Eri had felt like she was the only one that was there for her nearly unconditionally. Kyouko's battle instincts and charisma are something she's always looked up to, and as she's grown, Eri feels less like she's dragging her down when the two are in a scrap together. One of the proudest achievements of Eri's life was planting Higanbana all around Kyouko's Church, which became a spiritual experience for her senpai when she saw them all in full bloom. When Eri was at her lowest point, Kyouko confessed her love for her, and Eri responded with the worst kind of betrayal of her trust. All the same, in the new world, the two are enjoying exploring their feelings for each other.

• Mikoto Minagi - Mikoto was once someone Eri regarded as a little sister figure, but she's come to realize that Mikoto is actually more of a big sister figure to her in Mikoto's sense of protectiveness. Eri was one of the first of her Magical Girl comrades to realize that Mikoto's situation ran far darker than it seemed at a glance, and secretly she once plotted to try to free her from the dark elements that sought to control her. Unfortunately, she saw this as a task she needed to do by herself. As a result of this, when the world changed, she came back to find Mikoto as one of Dark Fall's Enforcers. And while their relationship was strained for a while, Mikoto's rejection of her role has allowed the two a chance to become closer than ever. Now she's trying to encourage Mikoto towards a Happily Ever After with her crush Mai - something that will obviously go well.

• Mami Tomoe - Briefly Mami's kouhai, briefly her girlfriend... and then her enemy. The two have tended towards a certain intensity of feeling towards each other, in that passionate way that only teenagers can emulate. In the end, when admiration and love turned into desperation and hatred, Eri murdered her atop Shinjuku Metropolitian. By all rights, after what Eri did to her, the two should never be speaking to each other again - if they were not outright hostile. Instead, they've found that while their feelings and bond for each other have evolved into something different. They are both trying to reestablish themselves as friends, with each agreeing to strive their hardest to never forget what's important between them. While she was fighting to free Mikoto from Dark Fall, she always appreciated how willing Mami was to back her up, despite what happened between the two not being so long ago...

• Homura Akemi - While the mystery of Homura Akemi has been solved Eri has no idea what Homura Akemi really went through, only that she travelled through time, over and over for some secret purpose that she doesn't understand. Noting Homura's continual standoffishness and dedication to constant battle in the Puella Magi lifestyle, Eri has taken it upon herself to try to be a good friend to her no matter how hard it might be. While it's an uphill battle, she's constantly trying to get Homura to relax, to take a break, a breath, and enjoy the normality of life.

• Yumi Ohzora - Yumi was once a driving force to attempt to have Eri act in a more moral way, but she was always a ray of sunshine. Eri has become increasingly aware of her circumstances and on the sly is trying her best to matchmake Yumi with a girlfriend in order to defy what she sees as restrictive traditions placed upon her.

• Chitose Shiratori - Once an opponent, then an ally, now a friend. Chitose has tended towards being a bit of a quietly mature force that tried to take the pressure off of the younger Eri, which Eri always appreciated.

• Sailor Pluto - A wise, ageless source of wisdom. And also the caretaker of a tiny trash cat the two of them saved by coincidence. The two have become increasingly good friends over time, and Eri as a result has been rather secretly cheering on her relationship between Kasagami, albeit in a way one would be hard pressed to realize given how much she teases the pair.

• Sailor Uranus - In the past, Eri was often a very WILLING victim of Haruka's flirtatious game. Now though, while she isn't even remotely on the Senshi of the Sky's level, she at least isn't turned into a flustered wreck by it. On the contrary, at times she's even able to tease back. She tends to hold a lot of respect for Sailor Uranus, and often takes her advice and counsel to heart when it comes to matters of... her senpai and partner, Kyouko.

• Sailor Neptune - Eri regards Michiru Kaioh as both a role model and unachievable life goal. While she knows she'll never become the high femme ideal that Michiru Kaioh is, she no longer feels insecure interacting with her on a daily basis. On the contrary, she treasures receiving fashion tips from her, and trading gardening tips in turn. When she becomes Sailor Neptune, there are few people that Eri would rather have her back in a fight.

• Kasagami Araki - The Secretary of Ohtori's Student Council was someone Eri recruited in a utilitarian way early on. And while Eri often finds herself rolling her eyes at Kasagami's antagonistic ways, she's found her to be a passionate and loyal friend - something that is invaluable to her. She's still not certain what secrets Kasagami is keeping, however, she does enjoy cheering on the relationship between her and Sailor Pluto.

• Someone special - Once upon a time, a girl reached out to a lonely girl in a garden by watering her flowers while she was visiting her father at the hopsital. She became Eri's first real friend, and while the Puella Magi lifestyle caused Eri to frequently be cruel to her, she never stopped being there for her when she needed her. For the longest time, Eri felt guilty over how much suffering she'd inflicted upon that friend of hers because of the constant, awful choices she made which led to so much unchecked violence. In the end, when she was at her lowest point, ready to punish herself by becoming a witch - her kindness convinced herself to seek mercy instead. A mercy this friend granted to her. This friend's wish granted her a second chance - and changed the universe irrevocably to be better for girls like her. Now... she does not remember this friend, only a feeling of importance in certain memories of conversation... and a nostalgic feeling she gets from pansies. Like she's meeting a special friend for the first time.

• Mai Tokiha - Mai is like the older sister she always wanted. She loves her dearly as a result, considering her surrogate family which has replaced her previous family. Eri's choices caused her to walk around on eggshells around Mai for the longest time. Now that Eri's back, perhaps the two are in a better place, but she still worries about Mai's self-sacrificial tendencies. She's hoping perhaps that gently nudging Mikoto her way will help Mai get to a healthier place... if the two were to become close in the way Mikoto wants.

• Takeo Akamizu - A lovable dork who's been a friend to her since her early days of school. Eri has caught wind lately that Takeo is wrapped up into something that goes way over his head, and believes he's being blackmailed into shady deal after shady deal. She can fully understand his loyalty to his sister, and even admires it but what cost will it exact to him and the people around him?

• Shizuru Fujino - Eri is surprisingly close to this graduate of Ohtori Academy's High School. One wouldn't understand why at a glance. They couldn't seem more different. It is perhaps only the two of them that understand why they were able to become close. Eri attempts to be there for Shizuru during her depressive and dissociative episodes, trying to force the issue of her self-care - and doesn't appear fazed by the fact that the person who's receiving her care could have rightly been considered the Queen of the School. Eri knows that Shizuru is a HiME, but that's a secret she keeps to herself, as she understands that going near that side of Ohtori Student Council members past and present is dangerous.

• Ren Aizawa - An early friend of hers. Recently the two reestablished themselves as friends, after Eri willingly confessed that all the rumors about her were true, and the two decided to try their best to move past it.

• Chihaya Izumi - Chihaya came to Eri with an offer to organize a fundraiser for the forest restoration project to demonstrate her organizational capabilities. Eri has agreed readily, and been a big fan and supporter of hers ever since. She wishes she could do something to show her appreciation, but Chihaya often tells her she doesn't owe her anything. That she's just using her. When Takeo insists that she's secretly evil, Eri scoffs at this. Just because a girl has a strong personality doesn't mean they're /evil/!

• Natsuki Kuga - More Mai's friend than hers, she still nevertheless likes Natsuki. I mean who wouldn't like a cool motorcycle riding girl that pursues her goals with such intensity? She's happy to hang out with her whenever she gets the chance, though she wonders if things won't get awkward between them in the future.

• Anthy Himemiya - Quite frankly Eri thinks Himemiya is kind of a weirdo, but at the same time she respects and admires her greater knowledge of gardening and cultivation. She's willing to collaborate with her occasionally in the same space purely for the opportunity to pick up some of her knowledge. Sometimes she distinctly feels taken advantage of during Himemiya's Gardening parties, when she's recruited to help out... but she can't help but enjoy those times with her all the same. She still feels strangely unsettled about how Kasagami brought Anthy Himemiya along for power during those battles with the Shepherds. And wonders what the meaning was of Utena winning her back.

• Kimiko Akane - Making a positive impression in a coincidental first meeting. Eri found out later that she's the Puella Magi who's taken over the bay territory. While she's still feeling her out some, she's enjoyed her company so far, and her chocolate chip cookies.

• Utena Tenjou - Once upon a time Eri was one of Utena's fans, though she wasn't precisely an aggressive one, preferring to go unnoticed. When Utena became a Chevalier, some part of her lamented the fact that someone she admired so much was now that her enemy. Now though, she's appreciated how Utena has made the first move towards perhaps... healing...

• Nori Ankou - ... Eri is an Akamira. More seriously though, the two early on had a strange relationship as the goth magical girl tried to collect her sadness. The two have had a tumultuous relationship ever since, as La Sirene became a Chevalier. But in the New World where the Chevaliers and Shepherds don't exist, Eri has been more willing to try and start over. She thinks Batiste is adorable.

• Fuu Hououji - In the new world, the Magic Knight of Wind tried to reach out her hand as friends. And Eri tried to tell her why exactly there had been so much friction between them. When Fuu resolved to try to fix things, Eri decided to give her a second chance...

• Yaori Kumori - Eri now regards what she did to Yaori as one of the greatest mistakes of her life, despite it teaching her so much about being a Puella Magi in the world that was before. She has no doubt that Yaori is out there somewhere, and that one day the two will see each other again. She would hardly blame the child if she instantly put a crossbow bolt through her soul gem, but as much as she dreads seeing her again... part of her hopes to one day talk to her about what happened... and perhaps come to an understanding.

• Rika Kumori - If Eri dreads coming face to face with Yaori, multiply that times ten when it comes to seeing Rika again. If in killing Yaori she planted a seed, then Rika contracting was that tree bearing its ugly fruit. Coming face to face with a little girl that had wished for her sister's murdered to come to her sent Eri over the edge, and despite being in a healthier place, she still hasn't quite come to terms with what she did to the burn victim turned Puella Magi.

• Mikoto's Ani-Ue - Sometimes she fantasizes about all the ways she'd like to punish him for what he did to Mikoto. This is certainly an entirely healthy way of dealing with her anger.

• Sayaka Miki - Eri's feelings for Sayaka Miki will always remain complicated. If they were friends, they were not that way very long. Yet Eri will always remember the girl that held her hand while she was dying in an alleyway. She will also remember all of the ill feelings between the two, as any positive feelings between the two became eclipsed by hatred. Right now, even in a world of second chances she isn't certain how to feel about her... save that she wishes she was still here.

• Alyssa Searrs - She may have been a child, but Eri feels very little pity for the girl after everything her Golden Age has cost her- and nearly cost her. Still she wishes that in a world of second chances... that this girl might have been given one too.